DJNinja & Ice: Live Coaching Thread 1.23.14 - DONE

[DJNinja]

Once again, we're back to answer your questions and help you break through your sticking points, so if you got 'em, ask 'em!

We go live at 6pm Pacific, 9pm Eastern. See you then!

[Syrrah]

Hey DJ,

My question is about multiple threading in conversation. Every once in a while, I'll meet somebody and it'll feel like we connect on so many levels, and that we have so much to talk about. This sort of thing usually happens by dumb luck these days, but I'd like to become that guy that can create that sense of connection with damn near anybody. Do you have any tips on how to go about mastering the art of multiple threading and open loops in conversation?

[DJNinja]

Hey DJ,

My question is about multiple threading in conversation. Every once in a while, I'll meet somebody and it'll feel like we connect on so many levels, and that we have so much to talk about. This sort of thing usually happens by dumb luck these days, but I'd like to become that guy that can create that sense of connection with damn near anybody. Do you have any tips on how to go about mastering the art of multiple threading and open loops in conversation?

.
Great question!

The simple answer to get you started: take your DHV stories and distill it down to the main topics. Use those as transitions to get to that story.

For example: Think of Bravo's Cat Rescue DHV story. In it, he brings up the fact that he trains people in self-defense/firearms; he likes animals; he owns/drives a truck; he lives in AZ. Any of these would be a good lead-in into the story, if either he or a girl brings it up. "Speaking of animals, it reminds me of the time I saved a cat. I'm not much of a cat person, but I ended up with one..."

[Syrrah]

That's really more about transitioning into DHV stories. What I want to do is create the sense that we've barely scratched the surface of any of the dozen topics that we've talked about.

[DJNinja]

That's really more about transitioning into DHV stories. What I want to do is create the sense that we've barely scratched the surface of any of the dozen topics that we've talked about.

In this case, you simply cut your own thread by jumping into another story/topic, then maybe later going back to the original topic(s).

The next time you hang out with your closest friends, consciously pay attention to how your conversation goes. I bet that you and your friends jump around from topic to topic randomly, cutting each other's threads and starting new ones only to have it happen again soon after. Do the same with girls...don't be afraid to cut her thread or yours, then go back to an original topic if the conversation starts to stale out...

[Syrrah]

So I figure out when a topic hits a conversational hook point, then cut to a more tempting tangent before anything gets stale? Makes sense. I'll play around with that this week. Thanks, DJ!

[illis69]

I have a really quick question. Girl qualifies herself texting me "thank god i can sing". Not sure what to text back but im thinking along the lines of - "U know what would really impress me? if you could __" not sure what to put, but do you think im on the right track at least?

[Ice]

I have a really quick question. Girl qualifies herself texting me "thank god i can sing". Not sure what to text back but im thinking along the lines of - "U know what would really impress me? if you could __" not sure what to put, but do you think im on the right track at least?

Not sure if she's qualifying or just stating a fact


everything is with context


and without it, can't really do much to add to this


what was said before - was it just random text that she sent you to spark convo?

[illis69]

sent her a funny video with a goat singing beyonce