Heading for Divorce, Building a Better Me

[Shaman]

I had the great opportunity to chat with our man Bravo about two months ago. Here's a quick backstory:

I am a certified holistic health counselor and personal trainer specializing in safe, rapid weight loss and natural healing (of any condition). I will post a topic in the other section of the forum for any questions.

Thanks for your response and thank you Bravo.

[Shaman]

other topic

[Bravo]

Hey brother, good to see you here

wish it was under different circumstances however

how did the advice I gave you end up working?

[KingOfAces]

Anyway, I guess I'm ready to move on but really am a poor public speaker and conversationalist. I find it hard to hold eye contact and things, although I am really smart and feel like I could pick this stuff up quickly. Where would be a good place to begin?

rules of the game by neil strauss. its a necessity. will teach you all these things without you even knowing you are learning them. kind of like the karate kid learning karate from washing cars. pick up the book, it's worth it!

[Shaman]

Hey brother, good to see you here

wish it was under different circumstances however

how did the advice I gave you end up working?

Next up is "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and I will add Neil's book to the list. I can't believe I've been trying so hard to please everyone and forgetting about Number 1! Regardless of what happens with my marriage I feel the importance of establishing a strong inner game and becoming a real man. I honestly would be fine either way as far as being married or not, so that probably will make me more attractive, right?

Anyway, thanks again for your help. I hope I can contribute to this forum in some way.

[Bravo]

Hey brother, good to see you here

wish it was under different circumstances however

how did the advice I gave you end up working?

Awesome site BTW

I consulted my mother on the issue because she works in the courts. She didn't see the necessity of seeing a lawyer just yet, BUT...

Reading "the System" really opened up my eyes and I began to have a disdain for my wife, so much that I started acting like I didn't care about the marriage anymore. Guess what happened? She started to come back around! Here I was being the nicest guy I could be and unknowingly sabotaging my relationship. So now she's doing her best and I appreciate it, but I just can't show it!

Next up is "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and I will add Neil's book to the list. I can't believe I've been trying so hard to please everyone and forgetting about Number 1! Regardless of what happens with my marriage I feel the importance of establishing a strong inner game and becoming a real man. I honestly would be fine either way as far as being married or not, so that probably will make me more attractive, right?

Anyway, thanks again for your help. I hope I can contribute to this forum in some way.

awesome to hear brother!

and still makes me shake my head sometimes about this shit

I hate the game, but that is the way it is

I watched the expendables the other night, and there was a line in it that clicked

"the guys who are the best with women are the ones who are fine without them" - something like that


also once I started being selfish and caring about MY needs first (for a while) amazing things started happening

you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else.

[dariusoj]

I don't mean to hijack your thread, but here's the rundown on my situation.

I just turned 24, in a long term relationship with someone I love. We just bought a house together and things are looking to be locked down for good. She recently consulted to a psychic and something she was told has really been bothering me. Basically she told her that I do love her and she means the world to me, and if she stays with me she will have a secure comfortable life. But if things were not to work with us, the next guy she would meet would be a darker cocky guy, very full of himself and very difficult to deal with. More of a challenge.

Basically what I got out of this was I am the safe bet, and I want to change that. I don't want to be the guy that she's with because it's just easier than dealing with someone else, I want to be a guy that she WANTS to be with. Also the reason this bothered me was because it's true. I need your help, not necessarily picking up strange, but building myself up and giving myself worth.

I've never talked to anyone about this before and any comments are appreciated.

[Bravo]

I don't mean to hijack your thread, but here's the rundown on my situation.

I just turned 24, in a long term relationship with someone I love. We just bought a house together and things are looking to be locked down for good. She recently consulted to a psychic and something she was told has really been bothering me. Basically she told her that I do love her and she means the world to me, and if she stays with me she will have a secure comfortable life. But if things were not to work with us, the next guy she would meet would be a darker cocky guy, very full of himself and very difficult to deal with. More of a challenge.

Basically what I got out of this was I am the safe bet, and I want to change that. I don't want to be the guy that she's with because it's just easier than dealing with someone else, I want to be a guy that she WANTS to be with. Also the reason this bothered me was because it's true. I need your help, not necessarily picking up strange, but building myself up and giving myself worth.

I've never talked to anyone about this before and any comments are appreciated.

please just start a new thread about this

[KingOfAces]

"the guys who are the best with women are the ones who are fine without them" - something like that

awesome quote. and so true...

[Shaman]

Hey guys, it's been a while, so here's the update.

So far, I've read the Game and the System...

I know the very basics but am lacking in experience. Time is of the essence though and I don't have any room for errors.

edit: I just scrolled up and saw Rules of the Game. Sounds like the perfect book. Thanks again!