Dealing with a life changing health problem

[Methos]

Thought hard about if I should post about this. I thought I should wait until I bounce back and can give advice on how to deal with something like this and recover. But, I haven't bounced back and it's been going on so long now I've had to accept the very real possibility that I may like this the rest of my life. So I've decided to share.

This started suddenly and without any apparent reason just about a year ago. I'd rather not get into specifics medically but basically I have problems with one of my legs. It's affected every aspect of my life. Things like getting dressed, which I use to take for granted, is an everyday challenge. It's constant pain all day long and even most nights keeping me up. I feel like a cripple. I limp around most of day. I've seen several doctors and am continuing various treatments including physical therapy. I've tried everything there is to try just about. There has been no obvious cause determined therefore, there is no obvious treatment that can make me whole again.

I've been to the point in the last few months where I've wanted to get myself a cane. Funny enough, if it wasn't for the Bhood, I would have probably done it the first time I thought about it. I've resisted because I know that even though the cane would help me that it could quickly become a crutch and therefore hurt me in the long run. I'm not to the point that I need a cane everyday but several times a week I really wish I had one.

I'm also realizing the field I work in (sitting at a desk all day) is not helping and could very well be a contributing factor to my condition. It's been a lot to deal with accepting I may have to give up my line of work one day soon. It's also made me realize just how little useful/marketable skills I have outside my area of expertise.


What I could use some help with is that I'm losing motivation to keep trying. The good news is that it seems the more I am active each day (stretching and exercise) the better my day is. Every morning though is like hitting the reset button and having to start over. And with my current line of work I don't have much time throughout the day to be as active as I need to be.

It's not all doom and gloom though. I am doing my best to look at this as an opportunity to start over in the middle of my life. Meaning decide on some trade or skills I want to learn and master. Ones that I could eventually, probably within 5 years, transition into. Eventually leaving the field I'm in now behind. Or at the very least leave it behind on a full time basis. I find the idea of part time work or business for myself, with limited hours, very appealing. While I could find other skills to earn me income as well. I'm exploring and haven't decided on a new field yet. I am finding practical skills (things like outdoors-men stuff and survival related) to be highly appealing.

I'll leave it at that for now, since this is getting long. If anyone's been through a hard time like this I sure would like to know how you dealt with it. Keep in mind this has been going on for a year and seems to have no end in sight.

[DJNinja]

Sorry to hear about your condition. It's great that you're seeing doctors. I would keep getting more opinions from other docs and specialists to see if they can better pinpoint the cause of your problem.

Also consider alternative therapies like accupuncture and herbal (non-Western) medicine. They tend to look at things holistically, and maybe the problem isn't necessarily your leg, but somewhere else up the chain, but it's your leg that's physically manifesting the problem.

It's not all doom and gloom though. I am doing my best to look at this as an opportunity to start over in the middle of my life. Meaning decide on some trade or skills I want to learn and master. Ones that I could eventually, probably within 5 years, transition into. Eventually leaving the field I'm in now behind. Or at the very least leave it behind on a full time basis. I find the idea of part time work or business for myself, with limited hours, very appealing. While I could find other skills to earn me income as well. I'm exploring and haven't decided on a new field yet. I am finding practical skills (things like outdoors-men stuff and survival related) to be highly appealing.

It's exactly like pickup: you're about to jump out of your comfort zone and into something completely new and uncomfortable, and naturally it's SCARY. But in the long run, trust your gut. If it's telling you that you're ready for a new direction in life, then listen to it! The good news is that you have time on your side - like you said, you can explore your options at this point until you find something that you could enjoy doing and get paid for it!

I'll leave it at that for now, since this is getting long. If anyone's been through a hard time like this I sure would like to know how you dealt with it. Keep in mind this has been going on for a year and seems to have no end in sight.[/quote]

[Methos]

It's in my lower back, but I think I also have adhesions forming in my knee and hip due to lack of movement in my leg. I've been reading lately about herbal medicine. Looking for things I can change in my diet or add that may help.

And let me add my problems don't appear life threatening at all. So I'm very grateful for that and know others have it much worse off.


Something else I wanted to ask in this thread, for those hand-to-hand or knife self defense experts, is there a discipline better suited for someone like me? Being cripple like this has made realize just how vulnerable I am and how I'd be unable to protect myself or my woman in any hands on situation. Sure, I'm packing and have developed those skills to where I have a good comfort level. But there are plenty of places I can't carry and I would prefer to have more than one option.

I have a very limited range of motion and can forget about using my legs as weapons right now. I spent a few years as a kid in a taekwondo program. As a result, I've always been more comfortable throwing kicks over punches or grappling. If I were to get a cane I would definitely have one with a sword hidden inside.

[DJNinja]

When I hung out with Bravo, he taught me basic knife defense skills, of which really got me interested in Sayoc Kali, the Filipino blade martial arts that Bravo trains in. Depending on the state you live in, it may be more allowable to carry around a knife than a firearm. In my state, there is a very lengthy and time-consuming process to get a gun and CCW permit, but I can conceal carry most knives without a permit easily (the only knives I cannot own or carry are switchblades, daggers, and butterfly knives)

[DJNinja]

And let me add my problems don't appear life threatening at all. So I'm very grateful for that and know others have it much worse off.

Awesome attitude to have!

[Evolve]

Hey Methos,

I had chronic fatigue syndrome aged around 12-16. Basically didn't go to school and had a home tutor 4 days a week for 1hr 15mins a day. This was a huge thing for me as I previously played football (soccer) for school and county, really fit and athletic kid who couldn't do much but lay on the sofa for that time.

It's crazy how dark and difficult those times were for me and close family, and yet after coming through them I can't tell you how grateful I am for them. It seems to have become a defining pivotal moment that has given me so much more depth and strength as a person, as well as an experience of how helpless you can feel.

My point here is that during that period I wanted nothing more to be better again, but looking back it's a life experience I am immensely proud of. Everything I've done since then (tough mudder, 32mile mtb event, going back to get qualifications as an adult) has in some way been to prove to that weak 12 year old self (and others I've told my story to) that you can overcome difficult things and become a better person because of it.

I'm no doctor and don't know what the condition is, but don't lose faith in the fact you can still grow and become an inspiration to yourself and others, whatever the outcome moving forward.

Hope this helps in some small way brother, feel free to pm if ya wanna chat more

[Methos]

Thanks for the support Science and DJ. I sent you a PM Science.

Nothing has changed for me. People ask me all the time how I'm doing and if I'm better yet. I think they have a hard team understanding this is something that's not going away. At least not until the source of my problem is found and fixed.