I have a small delema and I need your help. There is this Frat who are trying really hard to get me in their organization. They are offering me free t shirts, they throw parties on yachts, and they have alumni millionares that seem to care for all their members and they are national, and huge. They are also saying that if I were to joing this year I can be in a leadership position, which is something that I think will be really good for grad school. Also I will be a in the Alpha class (which is the founding fathers. At the same time I am against all alcohal and drugs, and I dont know much else about it because I NEVER thought in a million years I would join, but they are offering a lot of money and I can be a founding father at this chapter. Most people in the first year frat will be on . What do you think I should do?
Also I been having no problem meeting any guy or girl on campus so I dont think expanding my social circle or somethinng will be a problem for me.
Should I join a Frat?
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DJNinja
- Purple Belt X
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Re: Should I join a Frat?
Sounds like they really want you in, offering you all of these great perks to join
Why not try it out for a semester?
PM Farmer, he was in a frat and still has connections, he can tell you more about the benefits of being in one
Why not try it out for a semester?
PM Farmer, he was in a frat and still has connections, he can tell you more about the benefits of being in one
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LIL G
- White Belt
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Re: Should I join a Frat?
I don't think that its me that they want. They are opining a new chapter and they want as many members as possible, to get the chapter going.
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LIL G
- White Belt
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Re: Should I join a Frat?
Also who's Farmer and how can I contact him?
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Maestro
- Black Belt
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Re: Should I join a Frat?
It makes me sad that you would say who's Farmer.
Member search and PM him on the Forum.
Member search and PM him on the Forum.
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Farmer
- Brown Belt
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- Joined: Tue Jul 20, 2010 7:46 pm
Re: Should I join a Frat?
As with most things in life, the answer is "It depends. And it mainly depends on what you want."
Plain and simple, fraternities are great for some people, and for others they would hate to be in them. Also, the Greek scene is different depending on what campus you are on.
At its simplest, a fraternity is a tribe for college age men. We came from tribal societies, and their is something instinctual to wanting to belong to a group. You will see this in all facets of society and all throughout history. Fraternities are just the most recognizable form on campus, and unless you played serious team sports on high school, its one of the first times most men are introduced to a tribe they can join.
Anyway, I loved my experience, and A LOT of my closest friends were in my fraternity. There is also a decent chance that when I meet someone new in my travels, they were in my fraternity on a national level, or knew someone that was, etc etc. That might seem far-fetched, but as you move through this life and if you are outgoing, you will find that these connections happen more often than you think. And on a fundamental level, having a connection like that isn't just a cool coincidence, it means that on a subconscious level, you arn't a complete stranger. You know people who know people that they know (or something like that). It sounds strange, but its true.
As far as some of your specific thoughts....
- You arnt into alcohol or drugs....GREAT! If you join a with a group of good, decent dudes, that shoudlnt be a problem as long as you are up front about it from the start. At least that has been my experience with people in my fraternity who didnt drink (and also drugs never seemed to be an issue, in fact if anyone was caught with them at our house they were in for some trouble). That being said, you will probably be messed with some about it, but for the most part that is just busting balls, one of the fundamental parts of being a guy and hanging out with guys you are a part of. Also, if you are part of the Alpha class, there shoudlnt be anyone "out-ranking" you that will try to force you to do anything.
- Being part of the Alpha class has its pros and cons. On one hand you dont have to deal with older members putting you through your paces, but you also dont get to build up on their experiences. And building up a new chapter is a lot of work. You cant coast on the reputation the fraternity has had previously, it is up to you to build it. And also up to you to recruit people next year, which could be difficult being new on campus.
- As far as the social aspect....its great that you can meet anyone you want to, so while expanding your social circle isnt a problem for you, you might be underestimating just how many new people it would put you in contact with (ESPECIALLY for someone who is already adept at meeting people). Weekly or bi-weekly socials with different sororities open you up to meeting a LOT more women, and every guy in your fraternity will also have friends that become part of your network. With the socials though just remember, your brothers will be both your competition for the ladies interest and also your wingmen.
It can be a fun experience, but make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. And it REALLY just depends on the group of people you will be joining. So if you go to some events with other potential founding fathers, see if they are people you want to hang out with and be friends AND brothers with.
I never thought I would join a fraternity either, but when it happened it worked for me (and wouldnt have worked for some of my friends). And now, Im very glad I did, because of all the friends and their families that I am still close with. But deep down you need to decide if it is right for you or not.
Plain and simple, fraternities are great for some people, and for others they would hate to be in them. Also, the Greek scene is different depending on what campus you are on.
At its simplest, a fraternity is a tribe for college age men. We came from tribal societies, and their is something instinctual to wanting to belong to a group. You will see this in all facets of society and all throughout history. Fraternities are just the most recognizable form on campus, and unless you played serious team sports on high school, its one of the first times most men are introduced to a tribe they can join.
Anyway, I loved my experience, and A LOT of my closest friends were in my fraternity. There is also a decent chance that when I meet someone new in my travels, they were in my fraternity on a national level, or knew someone that was, etc etc. That might seem far-fetched, but as you move through this life and if you are outgoing, you will find that these connections happen more often than you think. And on a fundamental level, having a connection like that isn't just a cool coincidence, it means that on a subconscious level, you arn't a complete stranger. You know people who know people that they know (or something like that). It sounds strange, but its true.
As far as some of your specific thoughts....
- You arnt into alcohol or drugs....GREAT! If you join a with a group of good, decent dudes, that shoudlnt be a problem as long as you are up front about it from the start. At least that has been my experience with people in my fraternity who didnt drink (and also drugs never seemed to be an issue, in fact if anyone was caught with them at our house they were in for some trouble). That being said, you will probably be messed with some about it, but for the most part that is just busting balls, one of the fundamental parts of being a guy and hanging out with guys you are a part of. Also, if you are part of the Alpha class, there shoudlnt be anyone "out-ranking" you that will try to force you to do anything.
- Being part of the Alpha class has its pros and cons. On one hand you dont have to deal with older members putting you through your paces, but you also dont get to build up on their experiences. And building up a new chapter is a lot of work. You cant coast on the reputation the fraternity has had previously, it is up to you to build it. And also up to you to recruit people next year, which could be difficult being new on campus.
- As far as the social aspect....its great that you can meet anyone you want to, so while expanding your social circle isnt a problem for you, you might be underestimating just how many new people it would put you in contact with (ESPECIALLY for someone who is already adept at meeting people). Weekly or bi-weekly socials with different sororities open you up to meeting a LOT more women, and every guy in your fraternity will also have friends that become part of your network. With the socials though just remember, your brothers will be both your competition for the ladies interest and also your wingmen.
It can be a fun experience, but make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. And it REALLY just depends on the group of people you will be joining. So if you go to some events with other potential founding fathers, see if they are people you want to hang out with and be friends AND brothers with.
I never thought I would join a fraternity either, but when it happened it worked for me (and wouldnt have worked for some of my friends). And now, Im very glad I did, because of all the friends and their families that I am still close with. But deep down you need to decide if it is right for you or not.
Farmer
WWBD
WWBD
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LIL G
- White Belt
- Posts: 111
- Joined: Thu Oct 18, 2012 7:45 pm
Re: Should I join a Frat?
So I have decided that I am going to stay in this fraternity and be a founding father. Next week is our initiation and I hope it is good. So far its been a bunch of just hanging out type of things and we have tried to participate in every single philoranthropy event possible. We have been doing well in those too.
Also I am starting to find out that fraternities are very expensive and that might be a reason why I may not stay in for very long, but hopefully there will be more recruits as time goes by so the individual contribution will be less. I been bumping into a bit of trouble with a few of my friends (no I wont call them brothers because we are only friends and I will treat them as such. I will not give them any special treatment just because we are in the same club) the friend does not understand that if he found out about a secrete he should never tell anyone, but sadly he just blurts it out any time he can. Also the first day when I asked them how much commitment do they want, they said only an hour a week, however, in reality its like 5 hours a week, which makes it harder for me to be a part of different clubs and be able to network. I also cant stand the fact that some people have a nazi loyalty (the type of loyalty that someone stops thinking for themselves and just listens to the others in the group and does exactly as they say) to any type of organization just because they are a part of it, which is a problem for me because I cannot work with closed minded people who cannot see things from different angels. Anything that I am ever faced with I always want to improve it and change it, and close minded people cant see anything besides how they are told it is supposed to be like. I have been told by other fraternity members that sorority girls throw themselves at you when you are part of a fraternity, but I very much doubt that and it has not happened yet ( but again I have been a pledge until now and he said that they don't throw themselves at pledges), so we'll see.
Overall it is not bad and not too great. Wish me luck and any bit of tips would be appreciated
Also I am starting to find out that fraternities are very expensive and that might be a reason why I may not stay in for very long, but hopefully there will be more recruits as time goes by so the individual contribution will be less. I been bumping into a bit of trouble with a few of my friends (no I wont call them brothers because we are only friends and I will treat them as such. I will not give them any special treatment just because we are in the same club) the friend does not understand that if he found out about a secrete he should never tell anyone, but sadly he just blurts it out any time he can. Also the first day when I asked them how much commitment do they want, they said only an hour a week, however, in reality its like 5 hours a week, which makes it harder for me to be a part of different clubs and be able to network. I also cant stand the fact that some people have a nazi loyalty (the type of loyalty that someone stops thinking for themselves and just listens to the others in the group and does exactly as they say) to any type of organization just because they are a part of it, which is a problem for me because I cannot work with closed minded people who cannot see things from different angels. Anything that I am ever faced with I always want to improve it and change it, and close minded people cant see anything besides how they are told it is supposed to be like. I have been told by other fraternity members that sorority girls throw themselves at you when you are part of a fraternity, but I very much doubt that and it has not happened yet ( but again I have been a pledge until now and he said that they don't throw themselves at pledges), so we'll see.
Overall it is not bad and not too great. Wish me luck and any bit of tips would be appreciated