Dancing and flaking?

[tornapathy]

I have been an avid dance fan for a long time. So, yesterday I decided to look into dance lessons when I found a local place so I drove over there took a fit my style, orientation and signed up so now next week I will have my first dance lesson. After that I go to my board game night. Every Thursday I go get my nerd on and just have some fun playing board games and looking at comics. I invited the girl from my first FR to attend with me and she texted me later saying she couldn't make it. I go anyway because I was going with or without her anyway. I laughed, I cried, I lost all the board games I played, but I still had fun! Who needs females!

[Ice]

Cool that you are going to a dance lesson. See how you like it and if you do, stick with it - girls like guys that can dance and have fun doing it.

More importantly picking something to get better at and focusing on will help you develop a winners mindset. Don't quit when it gets uncomfortable or awkward. This will transfer to other areas of your life (ie. social confidence/meeting people in person/developing relationships). And - when you push through uncomfortability/awkwardness, and get better at this, it will turn into confidence at something, which will transfer to other areas of your life.

What kind of dance is it? Is there a local spot where you can show off/practice what you've learned? And, friends you can meet from dance class and go dancing with?

I like nerding out some times with a game night with some friends that are into the same thing I am. But for girls I meet - unless they were a self-declared gaming fan, I would be bringing them to a cool place I found in town that has an amazing drink, or appie they have to try!

This shows that you know something cool she doesn't (demonstrating social intelligence), gets her excited about something to look forward to the date on top of going on a date with you, and it shows you go out (instead of just sitting home all the time). It's amazing how many girls have told me about the guys they date and how boring they are and want a guy that goes out.

Glad to see you're going to a dance lesson. Hope it goes well. Keep pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Can you go out after dance lesson on Thursdays to dance? It's Thirsty Thursdays where you are right?

[tornapathy]

I think I am going to enjoy it very much the dancing. I didn't realize how beautiful some of the dance instructors are... I am not there to pick her up I am there to learn from her. I was just really nervous and shocked that I was going to touch/dance with her! So that should help with that aspect of my life!

The dancing I like and will be doing swing, tango, salsa. Really a mixture! There are some clubs in the next town over that have dance nights. But logistics right now don't work. Yes, they will be class also every Friday night will be dance parties at this establishment. So it should be a grand time!

Also, she said she was big into comic-con's and things like that. She just doesn't like going into places like that because she feels like everyone is staring at her because she is a female in those places. I told her other girls go to this one and she won't be the only one but either way, I went nowing I was going with or without her. So the end result didn't matter much.

Yes I can go out after dance lesson on Thursdays to show off my movies. Oh god yes I live in an upscale area so Thirsty Thursdays is a way of life around here. Most people go to Charlotte, I live in North Carolina. I just have to figure out logistics and things like that.

[Ice]

Awesome combo of dance!

With Salsa/latin dancing there will be many other forms that you will have to learn the more you do (ie. Bachata, Rueda, and Kizomba) - because it's a lot of fun, popular and girls know. Bachata and Kizomba are more sensual dances which is cool and my favourite forms of dancing. And - Rueda is just awesome to do in a group.

Swing dancing is really fun and I enjoyed learning Tango - very structured dance but also some very sexy moves that are hot and make you go "Wow".

Class every friday night = good. Sometimes there will be time to dance after class. Also can see if people want to go for a drink after class and get to know, have some fun that way too.


What comic-con did she go to? There are lots of girls at comic-con. Has she been to a major one (ie. San Diego), or just one of a local small one? Comic book heros are cool now (Avengers, Batman, DC Comics, etc). The world is very different than it was 20 years ago. I'm going to give you a line from Bravo. "It's cool to be a nerd now - as long as you own it."

When you say that to someone (even a girl who's shy about nerdism), you display social intelligence by saying that, and confidence that you own what you like and don't like. Part of being a man.


What's going on with logistics?


And, if you don't have much experience with touching girls, just be cool with it and focus on learning the moves, having fun

In a dance class/community, it can be pretty fast and widespread that a guy is noticed as creepy and no girls will want to dance with him. Focus on learning the dance moves. Own that you are new to this and know you'll make mistakes - it's all good and part of the process. Feel free to laugh if you make mistakes, it relieves tension - for you and your dance partner.

[tornapathy]

I am not sure which one's she has been to. I didn't get a chance to ask that question. I think she just went to a small local one.

I currently drive a moped, so I only travel around my local town for now. All the clubs and major happenings are in Charlotte which is south of me. So, I have been trying to figure out the best and easiest way to possible get there.

Also I have plenty of experience touching women. Just not beautiful women like 8's and higher on a scale rating. This girl was a 9... So I did just focus on the steps I was like don't step on her toes don't step on her toes... I was laughing, smiling! It was a blast. I am excited for next Thursday. Also It's not really a class Friday it's more like a dance party only people from class are invited though no outside sources they play music bring out the disco ball. It should lead to some awesome stories!

[Ice]

So you live in a smaller town, and have to drive in to Charlotte - Which is how long away? Can you take your moped there, or does it not ride on the highway? Which town is your dance class at?

When you put someone on a higher value than you, you will behave differently. See them as a person first.

[tornapathy]

Charlotte is about 30 minutes by car... which is about 45 to an hour by moped. I could, but it would be all back roads which would take even longer. My dance class is in the town north of me which is 10 minutes if that 20 by moped.

Thank you for that advice Ice. I also figured that the more I interact with her that feeling of omg omg omg will slowly start fading, which will be good as well. So these dance lessons are going to do wonders for every aspect of me. Socially, mentally and physically! I am excited to start!

[Ice]

Is there a place you can go for a drink in the same town your class is? It'd be a lot more convenient for everyone if it's just going for a drink or something to eat, close by after class.

Am I hearing right that there is a Thursday class 20 minutes north of you, and on Friday, it's 45 minutes in Charlotte? And do you get dust on your clothes if taking backroads?

Find cool places to go to and check out that is near your classes. Yelp can help, do some looking on the internet for cool drinks/appies that look good that you think is awesome - then go check it out. Go by yourself and see for yourself if you have to - then when inviting people you meet, you can see if they've been there before, and describe what it's like.

Let yourself be inspired with things that move you. If a girl is hot, she's hot. Appreciate it. Just be cool about it with her - like it's nbd.

[tornapathy]

The first part is right, the second part is not correct. Everything is in the same location So both Thursday and Friday are at the same location 20 minutes north of me. Also, no I don't get any dust on my clothes or anything. It's not really dusty here. Yeah, there are plenty of bars and things like that where I know of close to the dance studio and things like that.

Also yelp sounds like a great deal. I will check it out. I am looking forward to tomorrow. I am gonna explorer a little bit more and get out there.

Yes... I have to bring that mindset that she is hot but it's nbd...

[Ice]

Good plan!