Building Positive Self Esteem

[Bondus]

Hey guys, had something of a revlaution recently. I've come to realise that my low self esteem is stopping me from making approaches because I don't think I'm worthy of the girls attention and is also impacting upon other aspects of my life. Chiefly that although I hold a degree, I've never applied for any job with the kind of salary, you'd expect a graduate to earn. Fundamentally I don't in my heart of hearts, feel that I deserve any of the trappings of success that life presents.

How can I overcome this?

[Fresh]

These are the six practices of healthy self-esteem

1) Living consciously: Respect for facts, open to new knowledge and feedback, and seeking to understand the world and ourselves.

2) Self-acceptance: Realism applied to self. The willingness to own, experience, and take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and actions, without evasion, denial, or disowning.

3) Self-responsibility: Realizing that we are the author of our choices and actions; that each one of us is responsible for life and well being and for the attainment of our goals.

4) Self-assertiveness: Being authentic in our dealings with others; treating our values and persons with decent respect in social contexts; refusing to fake the reality of who we are or what we esteem in order to avoid disapproval; the willingness to stand up for ourselves and our ideas in appropriate ways in appropriate contexts.

5) Living purposefully: Identifying our short-term and long-term goals or purposes and the actions needed to attain them.

6) Integrity: Living with congruence between what we know, what we profess, and what we do; telling the truth, honoring our commitments, exemplifying in action the values we profess to admire.

[Shotz]

Great quote Fresh and completely agree. My business coach has worked with me on a thing called the achievement cycle. It's nothing more than setting goals that are congruent with your values and purpose in life, then creating a plan to make those goals happen. Once you start taking action daily to make that happen, you get momentum(in all areas of your life), gain confidence and a better self worth.

First step, what's important to you in life(meet women, find happiness, raise a family, help others, own your own business)? What core values are important(love, happiness, learning, excitement, passion, etc)? What's your purpose(promote change, help others, constantly push yourself, learning, etc)?
Second step, who do you want to become(successful businessman, playboy, physically fit, sociable butterly, man with supreme confdince)? What goals do you have to set to become that? Write those goals down.
Third step, what actions do you need to do daily, weekly, monthly, etc to make that happen?
Fourth step, write about what your life will be like once you start taking action and getting closer to your goals. How do you feel? What things are happening to you? How do people respond to you differently? How is your life different?
Fifth step, Take action. Do work.
Sixth step, objectively evaluate your progress.
Seventh step, modify plan or continue plan.

[delaris]

I also recommend checking out Sphinx of Imagination and Collection of Confidence. Both of those have really helped me with my inner game.

[Bondus]

Thanks for this advice. It all seems honest, practical and based on real world experience. Good news is I start a new job tomorrow which has the potential to be more in line with the real me working as a Librarian. I guess my goals in life are to become a polymath, do as much good for charity as I can, and of course learn to be successful with women. Have started mind mapping my way to progress got the main aspects of my life to work on PUA, Social, connectivity,Work etc and steps I want to take.

Re Mystery Method. I've recently acquired a copy Of Mark Wilson's Complete Course in Magic (a book recommended as an excellent starting point by mentalist and psychological illusionist Derren Brown in his book "Tricks of the Mind"). One thing concerns me however and therefore would very much appreciate some advice as to whether Mystery Method is blase, thanks to its mass exposure to both genders in The Game, or whether it doesn't really matter so long as I start to make approaches?