Developing Self Respect

[Stiegl]

Moiser, the accountability exercises will make me do what I promised, but I think Ice is right, I need to change the way I think so that I continue these habits after my 30 days is over.

I guess my problem is that I have become validation seeking. I am looking for external reasons to do things. That’s why I have no problem approaching women or working on things that have a clearly defined goal or purpose: you get to see the result.

The problem is with things that don’t have an immediate application. All of these improvements I want to do won’t get me any direct results in my game or my relationships. They will make me a better person and through that I will see indirect results.

I guess I have to start seeing these improvement activities as something I want to do for myself. They are improvements towards becoming the man I want to become, not for any use or outcome, but because I personally want to be that high value man.

I can start an accountability thread on the forum as a crutch for the beginning, but the real change in my mindset would come from going into each one of my improvement activities every day reminding myself that I am doing this for myself and not for any external result. Eventually as I push through the resistance and internalize why I am doing these activities, my mentality will shift and I will begin doing other things for my own sake as well.

Does that sound like a healthy line of reasoning?

[Moiser]

Sounds good to me Stiegl. Action drives change, so take action!

I was going to suggest an agreement like Bravo and Belial had during the recent No Fap Challenge.

After my coaching call with Bravo today we decided to make a deal.

I will start now and go until the end of the month, on the condition that if either of us break we HAVE TO DONATE $50 TO HILLARY CLINTONS PRESIDENTIAL RACE.

Hillary Clinton is among maybe five people in the world that I would spit on if I ever saw in person. I absolutely and whole heartedly HATE that bitch with every ounce of my being. Bravo can't stand her either.

If either of us break, we have to show a photo receipt of the donation (we didn't agree to this but I think it will help keep us both honest).

I'm a man of my word, and I secretly hate Bravo for challenging me and using that as fuel. But all for the better so no worries.

So I'm in. I didn't jerk off today so it is a good place to start.

-H

[Stiegl]

Haha That's awesome. I feel the exact same way about Hillary Clinton, so I'll add this.

I'm feeling inspired now. I'm going to make an accountability thread and get this handled!! And it's going to feel so, so sweet when I don't have to give her a campaign contribution because I crushed my goals

[Ice]

Posting here as well so other looking for developing self-respect can see my advice:

I want to add about expanding your mindset:

- read leadership books

and honestly - I'm saying this because of how much it has helped me and paid off. I know how it can help you if you really want to learn it.

Bravo was a big influence in developing my mindset - about women and more importantly about being a man.

Even today I am seeing how much different I am and solid in my logical way of thinking than most.

and just like everyone, there's always another level I have to get to.

Bravo has leveled up even higher since PX2. We are always working up - it is part of growing.

You have to realize you need to do something everyday that helps you level up.

PX2 was an advanced track. I'm not even sure when the next PX is - if there will be one.

But I would call Bravo and help you on your mindset - if you are serious about this.

I did, and this is what came from it:

viewtopic.php?f=25&t=6620

[Ice]

Moiser is right

the key is to not get stuck and to keep moving

Do what you need to. But stay in action.

Recommend doing what we BOTH suggest - two prong approach

[Stiegl]

Ice, I took your advice and did a call with Bravo.

It made me realize something… the reason I don’t respect myself is because I’m not the stereotypical outgoing, charismatic guy you think of when you imagine an awesome dude. I’m an introvert, and I think less of myself because of that.

Bravo helped me understand some ways I can have fun and accept my introverted nature by steering a situation properly. I guess it makes me feel like being an introvert is OK.

Also, there was some AFC thinking going on about what is and isn’t being an asshole. Looks like I’m still viewing things through the lens of what society would find acceptable, and I’m limiting myself based on that. Like I said, some AFC stuff left over.

I’m going to try to incorporate these new understandings in my mentality over the next 30 days, and hopefully I’ll see some growth.

[Ice]

K that's great Stiegl - it shows you're serious about wanting to improve.

Internalize what Bravo said. I mean it. Really take it in. Adopt that new frame of mind.

Bravo speaks on more than just one level - and if you really watch for it, you'll see what I mean.

Also, I want you to notice that the advice that Bravo gave you - watch how long until the NEXT time someone points it out - if ever. How long would it have taken you to realize this?

You've already jumped ahead in your learning by that much.

Some guys on here have had the same sticking points for YEARS and still haven't gotten a call to get ahead with Bravo.

This lesson is something you will carry with you for the rest of your life. If you let it grow on you, you will continue down the path to gain more confidence and more self-respect.

[Ice]

This was the same sticking point I was dealing with prior to PX and I am 100% more confident today than I was back then.

Believe it or not, I am an introvert

I am 51% introverted on my MBTI - which means I ALMOST get as much of my energy from socializing as much as I do from reflecting/alone time.

So knowing that, I know how to manage my energy when I'm around people and when I need to take a break and recharge.

re: "I guess it makes me feel like being an introvert is OK."

You absolutely MUST READ: "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in world that can't stop thinking." Susan Cain. ASAP. Set a goal to finish in a month.

I ask that you report back here on your progress, how you felt and what you thought - and anything you can share that other introverted guys would benefit from

[Stiegl]

Yeah, Bravo’s advice is awesome. He gives so many really good examples that are relevant to what you are talking about that a couple of them describe your situation perfectly and really hit home.

Also, I want you to notice that the advice that Bravo gave you - watch how long until the NEXT time someone points it out - if ever. How long would it have taken you to realize this?

That’s something I’ve already noticed from prior coaching calls. There have been a number of times where I said to myself “Where would I ever learn this? The only way to learn this is if you’re lucky enough to have naturals as friends”.

I think I’m something like 70% introvert on the MBTI. It shows up sometimes when I’m in a social situation and I decide to turn on the charm, but inside of me I feel that I don’t “want” to talk to people. I’m going to get that Susan Cain book asap and I’ll report back after I’ve read through it

[Ice]

It is AWESOME to see you taking this seriously and jumping into this wholeheartedly

When you can swing it - Take the MBTI level 1 test if you can - from a legit facilitator. It's worthwhile so you know yourself better. The MBTI is an industry-recognized psychometric assessment that leadership school and credible organizations use, and have used, from a long time. It works well in understanding yourself and people better.