Getting Started

[Danimal]

Hey guys, Khael here.

I've been a lurker for about a month now and figured it was time to kick things up a notch and introduce myself. This forum is really special; I don't think I've ever really come across a place like it on the internet. This is something I definitely want to be a part of, so expect me to stick around, and if my posting lags a bit don't hesitate to call me out on it. It's plainly obvious that those who post and stick with it will obtain success eventually. And that's what I'm here for: change.

Best place to start would be my goal. For the last three years or so, I've been feeling like something is missing from my life. Like it's somehow incomplete. I've begun to notice things about myself that didn't bother me in the past. Laziness and complacency even. I've generally coasted through life, and while it's been good, I've realized that I'm not living up to my potential. I know I can be much more than I currently am. In a way I blame society for not properly instilling in me manly values--for not forcing me to be a man. But I recognize that it's an excuse, in a way. I'm responsible for my own life and I plan to take responsibility by allowing myself to fully become the best man I can truly be.

So then this is my journey and it begins now. Or to paraphrase Nietzsche: This is how I become who I am. And what better place than here?

Next up: some background and relationship details...

[Aries]

Welcome to the forum Khael

First piece of advice

I'm responsible for my own life and I plan to take responsibility by allowing myself to fully become the best man I can truly be

Awesome fucking job grabbing life by the balls!

What is the full-realized form of YOU look like? Act like? Feel like, naturally?

-Aries

[Danimal]

Welcome to the forum Khael

Thanks Aries. It feels good to be here.

What is the full-realized form of YOU look like? Act like? Feel like, naturally?

I envision myself as an independent man. A man who has no financial debt and isn't tied to one place. A man who is free to travel and live where he wants, when he wants, and in the way he wants. 9 to 5 jobs are not for me. No working for others at the expense of himself. A man who exhudes honesty, not only in his speech, but also in his actions and his thoughts. One whose belief system and worldview are robust, carefully considered, and consistent. A man who values not just theory but also practice; an athlete and a scholar with a sense of supreme confidence and earned worth. Someone with plenty to give and little to take. A man with boundless energy and curiosity, who can act as a wellspring for others. That is what I mean by being a man. A man who never stops improving himself, sees life as a challenge and says "bring it on".

Some might say that this is too much, but I say bah! I know I'm half-way there. I just need a push here and there.

[Danimal]

I'm also well aware that I need concrete, specific goals to get anywhere with this, and I assure you I do have them. Some are rougher than others, but I have put quite a bit of thought into it--I pride myself in being a very introspective man. Not going to half-ass something like this. I promise I'll get around to posting them on here for you guys to critique and offer advice.

[Danimal]

OK, here's some background:

I'm 32 years old, though most people say I look younger than I am (they usually guess 25-28). I'm from Spain originally, but I've grown up most of my life in South Florida. That's not to say I was stuck there as I get to travel pretty often as one of the perks of having a father in the travel industry. I've been to quite a few places in Western Europe, East Asia, and South/Central America, so I would say I'm relatively well traveled. I'm also fascinated by languages, which helps significantly, as you can imagine. I'm perfectly fluent in English and Spanish, and have varying degrees of proficency in at least 5 other languages.

As far as work goes, I'm a software developer by trade. Business applications, databases, mobile apps, games, websites, web services, flash, you name it and I've probably at least looked into it. Done some hacking too, which I find absolutely fascinating. Didn't start off in software though. Was originally into hardware as a teen, building my own systems and repairing other people's computers. Been into computers since I was a young kid and my father brought home a Commodore 64. I swear I destroyed that thing figuring out how it worked. Eventually I wound up in networking while dabbling in software on the side until I figured out that software was the path for me. Despite how all this might seem though, I wouldn't say I was a nerd.

Growing up I've never really had any trouble fitting in. I wouldn't say I hung out with the "popular kids" very often, but I would jump from clique to clique in highschool without much difficulty. I technically belonged to all of them, and I felt like a liaison at times. I had a pretty decent network of friends and still keep in touch with some of them. But one thing that kept coming back to bite me in the ass was that I would never get sexual with the girls I was interested in. I was amusing and interesting enough, but I would just never show my interest. I was stuck in the friend-zone too many times to count. I wasn't a total loser in that regard though as women generally considered me handsome and eventually my aloofness would hook a few of the braver ones and they would make their intentions clear. At that point I was generally fine -- but I'll be damned this method was inefficient! Looks like I was suffering, then and now, from some strong approach anxiety and sexual escalation issues. At least when it comes to the women I'm interested in. Otherwise I tend to do fine in social situations.

I've been in a total of 4 relationships so far in my life, most lasting about a year with the latest being the longest at three years and I've had sex with 5 women. I tend to keep the women I'm with satisfied with the most part, but I almost always invariably end up getting aggravated with their shit-tests and end up wanting to break it off so I can have time to myself. I find that I often go through cycles of being social and being a loner; women HATE this, especially the introspective state. Rare is the woman who's willing to give me back my space when I've given it away often and freely. I think this is probably a frame issue. I suspect I'm wishy-washy with my frames.

Coming up next: my current situation and how it relates to my reason for being here...

And, of course, don't hesitate to ask me anything in the meantime.

[Aries]

I'm also well aware that I need concrete, specific goals to get anywhere with this

Post these goals. Goals are extremely important, get these up ASAP so we can critique them and help you move forward!



As for the Full realized you...

no financial debt

Have you create a plan to move forward with this?

I recommend reading and applying the knowledge in this book " http://www.amazon.com/Will-Teach-You-To ... to+be+rich



Second,

9 to 5 jobs are not for me

If you want to be an entrepreneur M.I.T. offers free courseware on Entrepreneurism.

Here is the link: http://ocw.mit.edu/courses/entrepreneurship/

Honestly Skip the background and Start progressing forward

Looking forward to your progress brother.

-Aries

[Danimal]

[/code]Post these goals. Goals are extremely important, get these up ASAP so we can critique them and help you move forward!

I'm still organizing them but I definitely plan to post them and have you guys rip through them.

no financial debt

Have you create a plan to move forward with this?

This is the easiest so far. I've already begun dealing with this by consolidating my credit card debt onto one card, budgeting my expenses, and setting aside a decent amount of money a month to pay off the card quickly.

I recommend reading and applying the knowledge in this book " http://www.amazon.com/Will-Teach-You-To ... to+be+rich

Thanks, I'll check it out.

If you want to be an entrepreneur M.I.T. offers free courseware on Entrepreneurism.

Here is the link: http://ocw.mit.edu/courses/entrepreneurship/

I've been on the MIT free site but never noticed this. Thanks for pointing it out.

Honestly Skip the background and Start progressing forward

That's the plan.

[Danimal]

Alright, got my first plan ready. Focused on pick-up since I think this will be the hardest for me. But hey, might as well start with the challenging stuff, right?

Here we go:

• 1. I want to focus on day game, so I'm going to stick to at least three new approaches a day. For the first month I'm going to count any and all approaches, but after that only approaches where I attempt a #-close, k-close, or instadate will count. Seems this is the best way to deal with my AA.
  
  2. Even though night game really isn't my thing, I'm going to force myself to go out and do it at least once a week. Seems like it would be really good for practice. Unfortunately, none of my friends are the clubbing/bar-hopping type and I'm not used to going out alone - it feels odd. Maybe a wing would help?
  
  3. I need to work on a few openers, a decent routine stack, and some good DHV stories - mostly to get myself out of my head so I can focus on the good stuff. If you guys could give me some pointers here that would be great. Let me know what you guys need from me and I'll go into as much detail as necessary.
  
  4. I think it would be fun to come up with some missions to do, to keep me on my toes and push me out of my comfort zone. Are there any good places online where I can find some decent missions? Or perhaps you guys can help come up with some?

All of this has made me think about what sorts of relationships I'd like to have in my life. I've decided that I want to take a break from LTRs for the time being. Not ready to settle down any time soon. I've also come to the conclusion that I need to experience as much as possible to figure out what it is that I truly want. So for now SNLs and FBs would be ideal. Any ideas on how I can best establish this frame?

I refuse to fail at this. I won't let you guys down.