Re: Smoothcall Made it home--Ask Me AT--Oct. 21, 2013

Smoothcall · Post by **Smoothcall** » Mon Oct 21, 2013 6:58 pm

Smoothcall Made it home from his trial just in time to hang out here and let you --Ask me anything--Oct. 21, 2013--starting now and ending at 8 p.m. tonight.

Post by **Ice** » Mon Oct 21, 2013 7:10 pm

Hey Smooth,

I'm wondering if you could give your thoughts on what you would say to someone who was working towards a 'I don't give a fuck' attitude.

Being in a relationship for almost 10 months, and in a situation where it's looking like it's ending, I want to just not give a fuck, but truth is I do.

I will meet other girls and can, but is there another way you can recommend?

Index · Post by **Index** » Mon Oct 21, 2013 7:15 pm

Hey Smooth

I’d like to get your thoughts on "workplace amogging" so to speak.

I was doing some business travel recently and while in a meeting someone snapped at me essentially telling me to shut up in front of a group of colleagues. It went along the lines of him getting agitated that I offered a differing point of view on the topic being discussed. He blurted out "Index, you worry about X, I'll worry about Y. I know more than you".

I regularly sense a hostile attitude from him and suspect that he may have felt threatened by me offering my opinion. I'm somewhat of a leader within my organization, and although I'm not high on the totem pole, I'm on it.

I could certainly feel myself getting extremely angry at his outburst in front of my colleagues but managed to keep my cool, ignoring the comment, and breaking down to explain my point of view. However that fell on deaf ears - very clear based on his choice of words, voice, and body language.

Do you have any thoughts/suggestions for dealing with people like this in the workplace?

I generally try to prevent things like this preemptively, keeping good rapport, but there always people with hostile/arrogant attitudes, etc. I'm trying to determine how to best deal with them in these type of situations.

romanianmmaguy · Post by **romanianmmaguy** » Mon Oct 21, 2013 7:21 pm

Hello, what's a cool way to take a compliment from a girl? A few days ago some girl said that she really liked my jeans and all I could pull out was a "thanks..." and these jeans get me a lot of compliments...

In my last FR a girls friends were pushing her into me stating or asking her(i can't remember) in a funny way that or why she wanted me really badly. Is some thing like this genuine or ar they just making fun of her, me, or both of us?(i

Smoothcall · Post by **Smoothcall** » Mon Oct 21, 2013 7:31 pm

Ice wrote:Hey Smooth,

I'm wondering if you could give your thoughts on what you would say to someone who was working towards a 'I don't give a fuck' attitude.

Being in a relationship for almost 10 months, and in a situation where it's looking like it's ending, I want to just not give a fuck, but truth is I do.

I will meet other girls and can, but is there another way you can recommend?

I'm not sure that I'm someone who can tell you how to not "give a fuck." I often have feelings that are emotional or in other ways are far from an attitude of not giving a fuck. I am not going to repress those or deny them when they come up. Instead, I am going to remind myself of the qualities and characteristics (that is, my values) that I want to embody and manifest in my life, and then decide how to integrate those qualities and characteristics into what I am feeling in that moment.

Therefore, if I decide to end a relationship, and I am emotionally distraught about that ending, I may not be able to change how I feel. But I can still refrain from acting on those feelings. For example, I am at home feeling like shit and missing HB-Ex. I have a few drinks. I feel worse. What do a lot of guys do? Start drunk dialing, right? Well, doing that would violate my values. So, at my best I connect to those values and I don't call her.

Also, I don't let my feeling bad stop me from going out, going to work, connecting with my friends, and so forth.

I hope you are getting the point. I'm a little worn out today--just got home from a full day of court hearings and I am concerned that I am not being 100% clear.

Smoothcall · Post by **Smoothcall** » Mon Oct 21, 2013 7:40 pm

Index wrote:Hey Smooth

I’d like to get your thoughts on "workplace amogging" so to speak.

I was doing some business travel recently and while in a meeting someone snapped at me essentially telling me to shut up in front of a group of colleagues. It went along the lines of him getting agitated that I offered a differing point of view on the topic being discussed. He blurted out "Index, you worry about X, I'll worry about Y. I know more than you".

I regularly sense a hostile attitude from him and suspect that he may have felt threatened by me offering my opinion. I'm somewhat of a leader within my organization, and although I'm not high on the totem pole, I'm on it.

I could certainly feel myself getting extremely angry at his outburst in front of my colleagues but managed to keep my cool, ignoring the comment, and breaking down to explain my point of view. However that fell on deaf ears - very clear based on his choice of words, voice, and body language.

Do you have any thoughts/suggestions for dealing with people like this in the workplace?

I generally try to prevent things like this preemptively, keeping good rapport, but there always people with hostile/arrogant attitudes, etc. I'm trying to determine how to best deal with them in these type of situations.

First realize that this reflects worse on him in a meeting than it does on you.

It sounds like to me that you handled it 100% correctly--you maintained your course and explained your reasoning so that he had an opportunity to give a fair listen. Everyone else in that meeting was listening also. If you did a good job explaining your point, he's the one who looks bad, not you. Indeed, you probably looked good and he looked like a douche. The rest of your work mates probably have a higher estimation of you and a lower one of him. That will pay off in the long run.

That said, there's another thing you can do to prepare before these types of meetings: Discuss your ideas with the people who will attend in advance of the meetings. Maybe even go talk to the guy you think will give you the hardest time. This way you have an opportunity to see Douche Bag's reaction and to get some allies ahead of time.

The last thing you are likely to be able to do at these types of meetings is to change Douche Bag's mind after he has taken a position--it's obvious that he digs in his heels and does whatever he thinks he needs to do to protect his fragile ego.

So, you measure your success in dealing with this by whether you convince him at that meeting. You have to measure your success by how well you stayed consistent with who you want to be.

The time to carry the day for your point is probably before the meeting or after the meeting, but not during.

Smoothcall · Post by **Smoothcall** » Mon Oct 21, 2013 7:47 pm

romanianmmaguy wrote:Hello, what's a cool way to take a compliment from a girl? A few days ago some girl said that she really liked my jeans and all I could pull out was a "thanks..." and these jeans get me a lot of compliments...

In my last FR a girls friends were pushing her into me stating or asking her(i can't remember) in a funny way that or why she wanted me really badly. Is some thing like this genuine or are they just making fun of her, me, or both of us?(i

In regards to your second question--I have no idea what they intend. Why not just as if they meant it for real? Or not. In other words, if you are attracted and she would be your target, start to game her and see where it goes. Nothing to lose, right?

As far as the compliment on your jeans, saying thanks is fine. But in the event you are interested in the HB who told you how great your ass looks, why not run some routines on her? You just saved yourself a cold approach.

You might have a routine already prepared for these times. "Hey thanks--you know what, you seem like you might know something about girl's clothing, let me ask you a question about . . . ." and then go into an opinion opener about a sweater you were going to buy your sister or something. From there you can just continue on in your routine stack.

romanianmmaguy · Post by **romanianmmaguy** » Mon Oct 21, 2013 7:51 pm

Smoothcall wrote:
romanianmmaguy wrote:Hello, what's a cool way to take a compliment from a girl? A few days ago some girl said that she really liked my jeans and all I could pull out was a "thanks..." and these jeans get me a lot of compliments...

In my last FR a girls friends were pushing her into me stating or asking her(i can't remember) in a funny way that or why she wanted me really badly. Is some thing like this genuine or are they just making fun of her, me, or both of us?(i
In regards to your second question--I have no idea what they intend. Why not just as if they meant it for real? Or not. In other words, if you are attracted and she would be your target, start to game her and see where it goes. Nothing to lose, right?

As far as the compliment on your jeans, saying thanks is fine. But in the event you are interested in the HB who told you how great your ass looks, why not run some routines on her? You just saved yourself a cold approach.

You might have a routine already prepared for these times. "Hey thanks--you know what, you seem like you might know something about girl's clothing, let me ask you a question about . . . ." and then go into an opinion opener about a sweater you were going to buy your sister or something. From there you can just continue on in your routine stack.

This did not happen out of the blue O forgot to say, I opened her before and started talking to her about Serbian things cause she is Serbian and I am Romanian and we have very similar cultures.

Anyway, thanks for the responses now I know what to do.

GSR · Post by **GSR** » Mon Oct 21, 2013 7:57 pm

Hey Smooth, I am wondering how to make women respect me better. I've been back in Jamaica the past 2 months doing this animation course, and Ive began to realize over the past year and a half living with all female roomates and dating, that women lose respectfor me after a while.

My roomates would overstep their boundaries and throw stuff in my room, I had a huge fight with them before I decided to move out. Once I had a platonic female friend stay over my place for a couple days, and during the course she began to get disrespectful till I told her to find someplace else to stay.

My female teacher after a while began to be disrespectful and rude to me in front of the class. Telling me to shut up and embarassing me in front of the class. I and some other students made a report and she curbed her behaviour afterwards.

However It begining to bother me women overstepping their boundaries and simply being disrespectful to me. I dont want to come across as too aggressive or lose my temper because I feel llike that will only make matters worse.

What do you recommend I do in situations as such?

PS.

I've been in a dry spell for the past 7 months. Any tips for me to regain my confidence? Besides work and school, Ive gotten very timid towards dating I feel like Ive forgotten how to flirt. Help with the Self Esteem.

James Bond · Post by **James Bond** » Mon Oct 21, 2013 8:14 pm

Hey Smooth,

I've noticed that sometimes you refer to tantra.

Where did you learn about tantra, how has it helped you, and where do you recommend a someone new start?

Thanks.

The Bravohood