A real woman is a man's best friend.
She will never stand him up and never let him down.
She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do,
…and to live without fear and forget regret.
She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room,
and will enable him to be confident, sexy, seductive and invincible...
No… no… Wait a second…
OH! ...Sorry, I'm thinking of whiskey!
…It's whiskey that does all that
Never mind.