Tagged: begin

It was either sink or swim and I wanted to fly

I always had a feeling in my past relationships, that I better do anything and everything I could to hold on tight. If things ended I would be alone again and that would last until I got “lucky enough” to get another girlfriend.

Years later I think because I didn’t have a stable family growing up, I was always searching for a girl to be my rock. Someone who would always be there for me and have my back. My parents divorced when I was young, my mom got married a few times after my dad, and one of the guys was pretty bad (drugs, abusive, and all I want to make public)

Now that my marriage was over, my house gone, feeling like damaged goods, almost no one in my life, and just being stood up on New Year’s Eve, I came to a realization

It was either sink or swim and I wanted to fly.

Even though I ended up finding a cool place to live, I didn’t just want to swim, which to me meant just keeping me head high enough from drowning, I wanted more.

I wasn’t happy with who I was and who I had become.

What I had been doing in my life didn’t lead me to happiness or given me the results I wanted.

So I decided that I needed to start working on the areas and aspects of my life that I had been avoiding. I began to exercise and eat healthier I also changed my look.

  • No fast food -and if I did falter I would just grab a burrito, not the 2-3 meals worth I normally got
  • Muscle milk or Dymatize protein shakes -chocolate with a scoop of peanut butter is pretty tasty!
  • Kettlebell -a cannonball with a handle, it was now being used religiously
  • Clothes shopping -something I use to hate, now I would go every few weeks and add 1-2 items
  • Hair -I dressed up in my cool clothes and went to a high end saloon and said “make it cool”

In a pretty short time frame I went from looking and dressing sloppy, to feeling 100 times healthier and dressing a thousand times cooler.  The confidence I gained from that was sinking in, but I needed to do more. If not all it would take is my clothes and hair to go out of style and me getting fat to loose the ground I had gained.

-next time, how I began working on what I would learn to call my “inner game” AND an update from the chick who stood me up!