Hey everyone, Torn here.
It's been a while. I hope everyone is doing well or in the process of doing well. Over the past year a lot of things have been changing in my personal world and the world around me. Some good, some bad, and some I just have no clue about.
Well, lets just get to the point. 4 days ago was my 31st birthday, as I was getting ready to go back into work a second time for the day. I had a thought. More like I had a realization that this year was a completely an utter chaotic experience for me. From moving out of my mothers ( thank god) to leaving the car sales ( thank god as well) to the thoughts that am I really being 100% honest and open with myself and what I need want... Answer is no, I have been lazy and so caught up in the idea that the work I was putting in was enough. Let me tell you that shit has gotten me no where.
On to the fix. As of right now, I am single have been for almost 2 years and I want to change that but I want to be with a women whom I deserve and deserves me at 100%. So, that is why I am back. Just like this place is changing, I will be changing with it. I will learn to be confident in myself and my abilities and I will stop giving into the pure lazy bullshit I have allowed to own my past.
I am looking for accountability and honesty and I know I will find it here. If you are starting your journey or making major changes in your life please join me. There is no better time than now. (Also wasn't sure where to start this thread so I figured life would do )
Confessions of the lazy. ( Learning to be a man)
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tornapathy
- White Belt
- Posts: 226
- Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2014 7:24 am
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tornapathy
- White Belt
- Posts: 226
- Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2014 7:24 am
Re: Confessions of the lazy. ( Learning to be a man)
Good morning ( or afternoon depending on when you read this)
So, as expressed yesterday. I will not be sitting idly by and watch my life pass by me. I will grab the bull by the horns as they say. With that I have started to write down what I will be. As my thoughts and ideas become clearly this concept of myself will become sharper and like a fine knife cut through this current image I have of myself.
With that I will get onto my concept of who I am (everything will become more concise and clear. All spelling mistakes are my own I apologize)
I am a stylish, well kept individual. I am confident in my looks, personality, communication and how I, convey myself. I give everything my best.I am not lazy and work hard to achieve my goals. I look past my flaws and, realize every time I judge myself on them; I don't build character. I will make mistakes but I won't allow those mistakes to deter me. I will seek knowledge to help improve my life and others. I am a man, and my actions and speech show that I won't allow people to take advantage of that ( clarify ). I will not, be bribed, cave into my lust, used in any way that my heart is not in align with ( needs to be more concrete)
As my ideas and thoughts begin to become more developed and in line with who I should be not who I am currently. This will change. Every day, I will update on the things I need to improve, the things that are working and of course things that need to stop.
Again, I look forward to this journey. If there are still others around, I look forward to building a relationship with you. May your day be wonderful and you work hard to reach your goals.
So, as expressed yesterday. I will not be sitting idly by and watch my life pass by me. I will grab the bull by the horns as they say. With that I have started to write down what I will be. As my thoughts and ideas become clearly this concept of myself will become sharper and like a fine knife cut through this current image I have of myself.
With that I will get onto my concept of who I am (everything will become more concise and clear. All spelling mistakes are my own I apologize)
I am a stylish, well kept individual. I am confident in my looks, personality, communication and how I, convey myself. I give everything my best.I am not lazy and work hard to achieve my goals. I look past my flaws and, realize every time I judge myself on them; I don't build character. I will make mistakes but I won't allow those mistakes to deter me. I will seek knowledge to help improve my life and others. I am a man, and my actions and speech show that I won't allow people to take advantage of that ( clarify ). I will not, be bribed, cave into my lust, used in any way that my heart is not in align with ( needs to be more concrete)
As my ideas and thoughts begin to become more developed and in line with who I should be not who I am currently. This will change. Every day, I will update on the things I need to improve, the things that are working and of course things that need to stop.
Again, I look forward to this journey. If there are still others around, I look forward to building a relationship with you. May your day be wonderful and you work hard to reach your goals.
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tornapathy
- White Belt
- Posts: 226
- Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2014 7:24 am
Re: Confessions of the lazy. ( Learning to be a man)
Hello everyone! I hope your day is going amazing.
As I began to gather my thoughts yesterday and write out my goals for the reminder of this year and for some of next year. I realized that I couldn't quite grasp any ideas of what I wanted and where I wanted to begin this journey.
I figured I should begin with Relationships. Relationships, meaning friendships or more are an important part of being 100% mentally healthy. I have learned this the hard way when you feel you don't have a source that will listen to you or wants to it does damage to self-worth. But, as I slowly started writing what I wanted, my thoughts wandered and I just couldn't really what I wanted on to paper. So, I thought to myself why is this? What is going on? That's when I asked myself questions that I need to answer before moving on to my goals.
Those questions are this.
What do I want from my relationships?
How do I act ( in these relationship) what do I expect ( from these relationships)?
Do I want commitment or fun?
What do I bring to the table?
As I look at these questions, this to me just seems like it may be just a start. If anyone has a good suggestion on how they thought about their goals and how they narrowed down what is truly important to them I would be forever grateful. I don't feel I am struggling. Just wanting to get a better understanding of how these thoughts are put into goals.
Thanks again! Hopefully you have a great evening!
As I began to gather my thoughts yesterday and write out my goals for the reminder of this year and for some of next year. I realized that I couldn't quite grasp any ideas of what I wanted and where I wanted to begin this journey.
I figured I should begin with Relationships. Relationships, meaning friendships or more are an important part of being 100% mentally healthy. I have learned this the hard way when you feel you don't have a source that will listen to you or wants to it does damage to self-worth. But, as I slowly started writing what I wanted, my thoughts wandered and I just couldn't really what I wanted on to paper. So, I thought to myself why is this? What is going on? That's when I asked myself questions that I need to answer before moving on to my goals.
Those questions are this.
What do I want from my relationships?
How do I act ( in these relationship) what do I expect ( from these relationships)?
Do I want commitment or fun?
What do I bring to the table?
As I look at these questions, this to me just seems like it may be just a start. If anyone has a good suggestion on how they thought about their goals and how they narrowed down what is truly important to them I would be forever grateful. I don't feel I am struggling. Just wanting to get a better understanding of how these thoughts are put into goals.
Thanks again! Hopefully you have a great evening!
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tornapathy
- White Belt
- Posts: 226
- Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2014 7:24 am
Re: Confessions of the lazy. ( Learning to be a man)
Normally, I would be pushing through a lot of my goals and what I want. But, at this time I don't think that is wise. I want to be 100% open and honest with myself. I want to really see change.
With that I have startednro answer my own questions slowly.
What do I want from my relationships? I want my relationships to be full of love, support, honesty, intergrity, and growth.
How do I act? I act in accordance with what I want my relationships to be full of love, support, honesty, intergrity, and growth.
What do I expect? I expect to be treated like I treat others. With how my actions speak.
Do I want commitment or fun? At this junction, I just want fun. Until I learn to be a man.
What do I bring to the table? I bring energy, honesty, excitement, purpose, passion, growth, knowledge , open communication.
I have started reading a book about crucial conversations and realized I am seriously lacking in this department.
I have to become better at listening and making myself understood without breaking down the lines of communication. Hopefully everyone else is doing well.
With that I have startednro answer my own questions slowly.
What do I want from my relationships? I want my relationships to be full of love, support, honesty, intergrity, and growth.
How do I act? I act in accordance with what I want my relationships to be full of love, support, honesty, intergrity, and growth.
What do I expect? I expect to be treated like I treat others. With how my actions speak.
Do I want commitment or fun? At this junction, I just want fun. Until I learn to be a man.
What do I bring to the table? I bring energy, honesty, excitement, purpose, passion, growth, knowledge , open communication.
I have started reading a book about crucial conversations and realized I am seriously lacking in this department.
I have to become better at listening and making myself understood without breaking down the lines of communication. Hopefully everyone else is doing well.
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tornapathy
- White Belt
- Posts: 226
- Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2014 7:24 am
Re: Confessions of the lazy. ( Learning to be a man)
As, I keep trying to figure out myself and what I want my life to look like. I keep realizing it's hard to get my goals to mean something good one me. I feel like I am programmed to want these things. But, I keep thinking about them. So, with that being said I have started slow to get my goals and what I want on paper.
What do I really want?
I want a smart, attractive, busy, kinky , enjoys threesome (MFF of course), loves video games, not high maintenance, wants to be the best she can, loves animals, wants to see the world (mostly Japan) , has open communication, works out , takes care of herself mentally, doesn't get distracted, believes in facts of fiction, enjoys new thin gs, brings ideas to the table. Could be poly but only with another female.
As I get closer to my days off i will get more goals written down and hopefully have some reports to write and ask for advice.
What do I really want?
I want a smart, attractive, busy, kinky , enjoys threesome (MFF of course), loves video games, not high maintenance, wants to be the best she can, loves animals, wants to see the world (mostly Japan) , has open communication, works out , takes care of herself mentally, doesn't get distracted, believes in facts of fiction, enjoys new thin gs, brings ideas to the table. Could be poly but only with another female.
As I get closer to my days off i will get more goals written down and hopefully have some reports to write and ask for advice.
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tornapathy
- White Belt
- Posts: 226
- Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2014 7:24 am
Re: Confessions of the lazy. ( Learning to be a man)
Hey everyone!
So the past two nights I have gone out. Nothing fancy, just went ballroom dancing. As I have been dancing ballroom and Latin on and off for almost 2 years now. I have realized that, I don't give it the attention that its due. Its not a cheap hobby but, I enjoy it and I want to get better. But, my issue is that I am struggling with my own insecurities.
As I was at both social Friday and Saturday, I realized I sit in my own comfort not dancing with some ladies do to my own inexperience with dancing. I blame my own inexperience with not going up to them and asking them to dance. But, I realize this is just a cop-out.
As I begin to better understand myself and my shortcomings. I am seeing the connections of what I what excuses I use to stay complacent. I don't want to be complacent. I want to be the best damn man I can be. Slowly but surely, I will get what I want out of this life nothing will stop me!!!
So the past two nights I have gone out. Nothing fancy, just went ballroom dancing. As I have been dancing ballroom and Latin on and off for almost 2 years now. I have realized that, I don't give it the attention that its due. Its not a cheap hobby but, I enjoy it and I want to get better. But, my issue is that I am struggling with my own insecurities.
As I was at both social Friday and Saturday, I realized I sit in my own comfort not dancing with some ladies do to my own inexperience with dancing. I blame my own inexperience with not going up to them and asking them to dance. But, I realize this is just a cop-out.
As I begin to better understand myself and my shortcomings. I am seeing the connections of what I what excuses I use to stay complacent. I don't want to be complacent. I want to be the best damn man I can be. Slowly but surely, I will get what I want out of this life nothing will stop me!!!
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tornapathy
- White Belt
- Posts: 226
- Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2014 7:24 am
Re: Confessions of the lazy. ( Learning to be a man)
As I , sit at work and have nothing to do. I start thinking about all the things I want/need/desire. And on that list is to have a woman or two or three in my life that I feel I deserve and that truly want me for well me. So, to help things move forward I have decided to write some goals.
My goals will be completed by the end of this year.
1) I have opened 100 different sets and stayed until I have ran out of things to say, I finished this on Dec 15, 2016.
2) I have played 30 minutes on my guitar play. This is constantly on going. I never stop practicing and always look for ways to improve.
3) I have 5 different openers memorized. I finished this on Dec 10, 2016.
4) I have practiced 30 minutes a day on tonelity, body language, and spatial awareness with the openers. This is constantly on going and it is constantly being modified to match my other goals.
5) I have wrote down, what I want in my perfect wife/so. This will be constantly updated as I date more and learn more about myself.
6) I have gone out 3 nights a week Friday, Saturday, Sunday to improve my relationships and make memories. This is constantly ongoing and be modified to fit my goals.
7) I have found three styles of fashion that I like and work on copying. I finished this 12/15/16.
8) I have read 2 books on self-improvement and implemented then into my personal life. This is constantly ongoing and gets modified to meet my goals.
As things get finished, as I learn more. This list will get updated. Small strides, big goals.
My goals will be completed by the end of this year.
1) I have opened 100 different sets and stayed until I have ran out of things to say, I finished this on Dec 15, 2016.
2) I have played 30 minutes on my guitar play. This is constantly on going. I never stop practicing and always look for ways to improve.
3) I have 5 different openers memorized. I finished this on Dec 10, 2016.
4) I have practiced 30 minutes a day on tonelity, body language, and spatial awareness with the openers. This is constantly on going and it is constantly being modified to match my other goals.
5) I have wrote down, what I want in my perfect wife/so. This will be constantly updated as I date more and learn more about myself.
6) I have gone out 3 nights a week Friday, Saturday, Sunday to improve my relationships and make memories. This is constantly ongoing and be modified to fit my goals.
7) I have found three styles of fashion that I like and work on copying. I finished this 12/15/16.
8) I have read 2 books on self-improvement and implemented then into my personal life. This is constantly ongoing and gets modified to meet my goals.
As things get finished, as I learn more. This list will get updated. Small strides, big goals.