I went to my therapist yesterday and she said perhaps the reason I do not have a lot of women in my life (let alone many friends) is because I do not loe myself. Honestly, I have not really loved myself since childhood (I am 25 now). While I have gone to therapy for most of my life, only recently have I really begn to understand this. I know that this may take literally years to fix. Any advice on this and how it fits into my dating life or in general?
Re: My therapist says I don't love myself!
Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 10:45 am
by Maestro
I love myself all the time. In fact I did it twice last night.
But in all seriousness, like Joe Rogan says, be the hero of your own story. What kinds of things do you admire and want to be? Realize that its a choice to make yourself those things or not. Be what you love. Even if it takes time, become it. It's that simple. Given time, you literally can become anything. So become it. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and become it.
So be the hero of your own movie.
Then you can "love" or completely accept who and what you are and embrace it. Flaws and all.
Beyond that, realize that there's only so much we can do to help. Keep going to your therapist.
One more thing: Exercise. If you aren't already, it will change your life. Get to a gym, do martial arts, find a sport you like, but do something. It's proven to be as effective as antidepressants. You'll look and feel better.
Re: My therapist says I don't love myself!
Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 1:00 pm
by jigsaw
I do not really like Joe Rogan, but I will consider his words. I did go to the gym today, and the day before. Sadly it did not make me feel great today...but hey. My therapist told me to write down 5 positive things I do at the end of each day. So far, the gym is the first thing on that list.
Re: My therapist says I don't love myself!
Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 4:28 pm
by Bravo
jigsaw wrote:I do not really like Joe Rogan, but I will consider his words. I did go to the gym today, and the day before. Sadly it did not make me feel great today...but hey. My therapist told me to write down 5 positive things I do at the end of each day. So far, the gym is the first thing on that list.
Why the need to say you don't like joe rogan. Why start off your response like that?
Almost sounds like you didn't even read anything else after you read joe rogan.
Did you use your dislike of him as an excuse to ignore the post Maestro made?
Not wise
Re: My therapist says I don't love myself!
Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 5:33 pm
by Valmont
Make a list of all the things you would want to do. Things that you love about other people and would want to become yourself and work on that.
Make a to-do list for each day, so you're constantly achieving.
Re: My therapist says I don't love myself!
Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 7:10 pm
by jigsaw
Bravo wrote:
Why the need to say you don't like joe rogan. Why start off your response like that?
Almost sounds like you didn't even read anything else after you read joe rogan.
Did you use your dislike of him as an excuse to ignore the post Maestro made?
Not wise
No I do not use it as an excuse. I apologize if it came out that way. My issues with Joe Rogan are political in nature, which I will not discuss in this forum to avoid a flame war. That said, I thanks Maestro for his post and I do not disregard his advice.
Re: My therapist says I don't love myself!
Posted: Sat Nov 08, 2014 5:23 pm
by stone
jigsaw wrote:
Bravo wrote:
Why the need to say you don't like joe rogan. Why start off your response like that?
Almost sounds like you didn't even read anything else after you read joe rogan.
Did you use your dislike of him as an excuse to ignore the post Maestro made?
Not wise
No I do not use it as an excuse. I apologize if it came out that way. My issues with Joe Rogan are political in nature, which I will not discuss in this forum to avoid a flame war. That said, I thanks Maestro for his post and I do not disregard his advice.
I think the main point here is to remember negativity breeds further negativity. If you start something out negatively its more likely to end negatively.
"fuck im so nervous to go out to the bar by myself."
Sitting in the bar by your self in the corner...
"I cant do this I'm not (insert whatever excuse you like)"
go home alone making no progress...
VS...
"I've never done this before. This should be a new exciting adventure to experience and I'm just gonna go have fun with it"
you go have fun maybe get a makeout and maybe get some phone numbers and get a girl home?
You choose the path and that path starts before you've even headed out for a night.