The Bravohood

Bravohood,

Life has come to an excruciating checkpoint in my life. In early May I was arrested for a DUI (cop said I crossed over the white line so he pulled me over). I stopped to grab a drink with a friend after dropping my son off from attending a hockey game with him. I blew a .10, passed all the sobriety tests but still got charged and sat in jail for three months then got time served. Sitting in jail sucks but not as bad as everything else that happened.

1.My business partner fucked me out of 5,000 dollars, forced me out of the business, and kept the Bobcat and dump trailer that I purchased.
2.$3,500 in bills every month for 3 months with no income has taken all my money I saved up and I still have a $450 loan to pay every month.
3. I have no license and the City wants to forfeit my truck based on current Va laws regarding DUI convictions so even trying to run my business on my own is pretty much a no go.
4. Had to move in with my Father. I've been on my own since I was 15 years old so this is quite a change for me.
5. I have no job now, no income, and finding a job has been very difficult.

All things considered I am remaining relatively positive while at some times I want to rain down hell fire upon everything in my path ( not that often, but sometimes). A lot of people who I thought were true friends showed themselves to be phony, only being friends when I had something to offer. So I have removed them from my life which has left me with two good friends that I grew up with. I see my life as an empty cup right now just begging to be filled, which is a good thing because I have the opportunity to build a new life from scratch, scary? YES! but it is also opens the door to so many possibilities. I have a few goals set for myself, but I would like to ask the BRAVOHOOD for any suggestions.

My current goals:
1. Become more active in my Church (already actively pursuing this)
2. Get out of debt. (get a job, budget, and pay off debt ASAP)
3.Put my business back together (might not be realistic at the moment)
4.Meet new people, make new friends, and defintely meet A LOT of new women

In regards to 4 I feel pretty defeated about this guys, in all honesty, I just feel like I have nothing to offer which I know isn't true. Sure, I'm not the guy with his own house, his own business, and comfortable easy going lifestyle anymore, but I do have good character attributes to offer people. I'm sure some of you can identify with that feeling of worthlessness while at the same time you logically understand you have things to offer. How do I go about bringing women to my Dad's house, having no license, not being able to pick a chic up on a date, or go out on dates that don't cost a lot? These are things I haven't done since I was a teenager, so I am kinda lost.

Any advice on my current goals, adding other goals, and how to overcome said dating obstacles would be greatly appreciated. I live in the Ghent area of Norfolk,Va which is small city with college chics everywhere and my Father has a really nice house in one of the nicer neighborhoods. So, I see some of the benefits of my current situation but logistics are a struggle for me right now.

Long live the Bravohood!!

Wow man, sounds like you are going through a lot. Stay strong.

Goal one sounds easy and can be tied in with goal four as far as friends and expanding your social circle. Probably don't want to hit on too many girls there, but might be a good chance to hit on one or two, just be careful not to cause drama there.

Goal two, you've already set smaller goals which will reach this goal. So make finding a job your number one priority.

As far as bringing girls over, I bet your dad would be fine with you doing it, so maybe talk to him about it.

Several guys on here have brought girls over when they lived with their parents and it wasn't a big deal.

If you live near campus, get on campus and set up dates near the school. Probably plenty to do within walking distance and you can go back to their dorms or apartments.

Bottom line is that yes, you have it hard right now but it won't be like this forever. And you can absolutely still sarge and get girls to come to you.

Gareth Jones talks about how he got good because he was in the exact same position as you:



Hang in there brother

Thanks for the reply Maestro. It is always good to know other people have gone through a similair situation and not only persevered, but learned and became better from it. Thank you for suggestions and I definitely agree with you on the church/flirting scenario.

Now it is time to just get out there and get to work....

Honestly my skills went through the roof after my DUI. Without a car or a place of my own I had to learn how to adapt. I didn't have a job either, so dates had to be free or paid for by the girl. It's amazing how they'll spend money on you if you're awesome enough.

Thanks Jay-T. Sorry you had to go through that situation but its good motivation just to hear someone share thier story. Do you have any specific guidelines or artists you received advice from? In my mind I keep seeing it as an obstacle and don't really now how to overcome it.

Do I guide the conversation elsewhere when the time comes or just be honest about it and use it as a talking point to discuss my current goals, what I learned from it, and quite possibly use it to DHV in a way that presents me as someone with strong character?

Nicolo wrote:Thanks Jay-T. Sorry you had to go through that situation but its good motivation just to hear someone share thier story. Do you have any specific guidelines or artists you received advice from? In my mind I keep seeing it as an obstacle and don't really now how to overcome it.

Do I guide the conversation elsewhere when the time comes or just be honest about it and use it as a talking point to discuss my current goals, what I learned from it, and quite possibly use it to DHV in a way that presents me as someone with strong character?

If you have a way to spin it into a DHV presenting you with strong character, I'd love to hear it. My view on the matter is that I was trashed and made a stupid mistake, there's nothing strong about that. Also, avoid soju. that shit is ridiculous. Ask Maestro, he was there.

I learned to deal on my own. I lost my license, my job and was already living at home. So I turned to online dating. I got really good at having chicks come get me and take me to their place to fuck. I can't explain how to do it, its just a matter of building a connection over phone/text/email before the date.

Thanks Jay-T. The act of getting the DUI is definitely not a DHV, but overcoming obstacles is. Losing everything I had and loved is not a DHV but getting back up and building a bigger and better life is. Its not the act of faiure that DHV's but the overcoming adversity is. That is what I am getting at with the strong character trait. Everybody makes mistakes some just have greater consequences.

Thanks for your response and sharing that you turned to online dating. I am going to start working on putting a profile together on POF.

Really though guys, Maestro and Jay-T, your advice is truly appreciated and valued. Thanks for the support during these tough times.

I agree that overcoming adversity is a DHV, but I don't think you get credit if the adversity is your fault in the first place. But like I said, if you can spin it that way and make it work for you then congrats!

Nicolo

Wrote something earlier but never posted - wanted to make sure I spent time on this

First off, I'm glad to see you getting back on your feet. Be thankful you have a dad that is letting you stay at his place while you are. It'll be hard for the first little bit but you guys will find a medium.

Tough stuff happens, pull through - I know you can. Good to see you are keeping an optimistic attitude. Keeping positive and happy sometimes just means never letting the negative in.

Success is not always A-B. There'll be up and downs, left and rights. All about getting up and going again. Sounds like you've got a plan to go forward. Anything else you wanted to do with your career while you are at a crossroads?

Thanks Ice, your advice is always encouraging and very appreciated.

Ya know, I've got this intense passion to help people become and/or stay healthy through diet, exercise, and other lifestyle habits. I believe it is time for me to turn that passion into a reality. So, yes I do have something else I want to do with my career. I have decided to finish my A.S. in science and also get a certification for personal training.