Perfectionism ?

[Trance]

Hey guys. As I strive for a better version of myself, I find that a perfectionism mentality, while originating from a belief of me destined to work hard to achieve greatness, hinders me.

It went from a reinforcing belief to a harmful habit.

When I start my day, and it dont start the right way, the rest of it is 100% bound to be an unsuccessful one.

For example. I am in the constant battle of eating healthy. When I woke up this morning I ate a doughnut. Now automatically in my mind this means today is a day of eating unhealthy. I instantly started planning what kind of unhealthy food Ill eat for the rest of the day.

Out of habit and a wrong approach, I usually cannot simply just recover the rest of the day after doing a mistake. Because the day is now not perfect.

Just writing about this makes me see the pattern of it. I am glad I do.


The problems faced:

1.The specific issues I face with perfectionism and how my day starts.

• Sometimes using my knowledge of this mentality to sabotage my day (effectively getting the easy way out and an excuse to be lazy) simply by starting it off the wrong way.
  
  This quickly spirals out of control, and turns into a series of says of failure.

2.The false belief I have for perfectionism as a core concept


Thoughts? Feedback? I appreciate those!


My own thoughts:

1.Maybe this means that massive focus and intention need to be put into the beginning of the day and starting it right.

2.I need to fragment my "fail-try again" mentality to break the pattern the instant I realize I failed. Rather than telling myself that to try again I have to wait for the next day.

[Maestro]

First off, I like your quote. Legend has it that there was once a legendary PUA named Kickman but he has not been heard of except in whispered back rooms and is the stuff of myth and legends. Supposedly, he could do kicks that would make women swoon. Are you a martial artist?

Now, you need a paradigm shift. Every moment is the only thing that exists. Everything before that moment is gone. From every moment, second to second, you choose who and what you are. At any moment you can make a different choice. So stop thinking in terms of days, and instead think in terms of moments. Perhaps judge yourself on hours rather than days. Ask yourself, how was this hour? How will I make the next hour better?

Stop making excuses. You're better than that.

[DJNinja]

Kickman was legendary indeed.

I heard that, with Bravo's help and his own self-discovery, he evolved to become a master of his craft, both martial arts and seduction

[Ice]

Strive for mastery - not perfection.

The master has failed more times than the student has ever tried. /Bravo

Which means you are allowed you fail on your way to mastery

Perfection has the connotation that you cannot fail, which is unrealistic.

So strive for mastery.

[Trance]

First off, I like your quote. Legend has it that there was once a legendary PUA named Kickman but he has not been heard of except in whispered back rooms and is the stuff of myth and legends. Supposedly, he could do kicks that would make women swoon. Are you a martial artist?

Maestro. Yes, I did martial arts for years back in Egypt. One of my goals that I will post later tonight is to get back into it. Kung fu is one of my passions. Specifically wing chun and southern style. Are you into martial arts?

P.S. This quote is by Bruce Lee if you did not know.

Thinking about it by the hour is a good idea. Ill do that and update you guys on how its going on this thread.

Ice, what you say makes sense. Actually id say the most valuable thing I learned from my 1-on-1 is how to think of this whole thing differnetly, as a hard work/ work ethic thing. Infinite trials and failures. And that the Bravo I saw back then was the product of years of work and failures.

Btw Ice, your signature quote reminded me of something important Bravo said during the 1-on-1

[Maestro]

Be like water my friend....

Ice, I love that you think Bravo made that up, but it's actually a pretty famous quote. Not to take anything away from him, but if there was a master of random quotes, it would be bravo. We are lucky in that Bravo has distilled a lot of wisdom from many sources and filtered out a lot of the bullshit.

Yes Trance, I've done a little martial arts. Were you ever nervous when sparring? As a martial artist, if you spar or roll with someone easy, you can learn a little but nowhere near as much as when you spar or roll with someone much better than you.

Everytime I lost at a tournament I hated it, but I learned something. Either something mental, overcoming fears, techniques, ring management, whatever, but I learned. The more I tried, the better I got. And as hard as it was, I never let a loss stop me. Eventually I became a junior Olympic champion, then a US Open champion, etc.

Then it would have been easy to rest on my laurels. But I started learning BJJ and got destroyed at first. But with the same thinking, I've gotten much better.

The same thing applies to pickup. Never let a perceived failure stop you. Embrace it and learn and be excited for the very next set.

Be like water my friend

[Trance]

Olympic champion? US champion? That's fucking impressive! And you sound humble, which is a thing I care about in martial artists.

From what you are saying it seems that through your martial arts journey you had mental barriers that you had to get over, and comfort zones you forced yourself to get out of.. I'm curious.

Feel free to elaborate if you want

[Maestro]

Olympic champion? US champion? That's fucking impressive! And you sound humble, which is a thing I care about in martial artists.

From what you are saying it seems that through your martial arts journey you had mental barriers that you had to get over, and comfort zones you forced yourself to get out of.. I'm curious.

Feel free to elaborate if you want

Junior Olympics, not Olympics. Big difference. Although I did get to train with the US national team. I've been humbled many times. There are always people better than you. And just when I thought I was getting a tiny bit ok at BJJ, I was training with Bravo, who is a Sayoc Kali instructor, and he showed me some knife stuff that negated 99% of BJJ. I now carry a Karambit everywhere I go and am trying to train more in Kali.

My journey is a long one and I'm working on a writeup soon. But it's taking a while. The point is that you can learn from those same experiences in martial arts and apply it to pickup.