Guys,
I'm looking at trying to build my assertiveness skills. I have for too long bounced between being passive and thinking that my needs are unimportant and the last that need to be met and just kept a long of frustration pent up inside and then exploded into aggression against others and occasionally myself.
I'm looking for practical advice for how I can build confidence in knowing that it is OK for me to meet my needs and stop putting my life and dreams on hold for the sake of others.
Any advice gladly received?
Bondus
Building Assertiveness
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Bondus
- Blue Belt

- Posts: 259
- Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2010 11:12 am
- Location: Manchester, England
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The Chin
- Purple Belt

- Posts: 206
- Joined: Tue Jul 20, 2010 8:16 pm
- Location: San Diego, CA
Re: Building Assertiveness
You've already completed the hardest part - being aware that you are acting in a passive aggressive way. This was always a hard concept for me to wrap my head around and I still have some problems with it.
The balanced state is neither passive nor aggressive but rather assertive. Look into books about assertiveness. I am reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy" right now. So far the book hasn't really mentioned assertiveness, but it does hit on the concepts - expressing your emotions, not being afraid of conflict, acting from a win-win mentality.
I also had a 30 day challenge thread on assertiveness - might be a good one to go back and read.
The balanced state is neither passive nor aggressive but rather assertive. Look into books about assertiveness. I am reading "No More Mr. Nice Guy" right now. So far the book hasn't really mentioned assertiveness, but it does hit on the concepts - expressing your emotions, not being afraid of conflict, acting from a win-win mentality.
I also had a 30 day challenge thread on assertiveness - might be a good one to go back and read.
The Chin
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.