Re: Smoothcall Made it home--Ask Me AT--Oct. 14, 2013

[Smoothcall]

Smoothcall Made it home from his trial just in time to hang out here and let you --Ask me anything--Oct. 14, 2013--starting now and ending at 8 p.m. tonight.
I am my DHV

Smoothcall hosted flashchats now on MONDAYS at 7 p.m. Pacific time.

[Saber]

Smooth all,

As always, thanks for doing this.
My question is about building comfort in sets. I understand that comfort is about actually taking the time to get to know the girl, but I'm curious to know how you bring up "comfort" questions in set. I'm familiar with the cube but that isn't always conducive to loud venues. So I was wondering if you had any other advice for building comfort and building an emotional connection after dhv'ing?

Thanks

Saber

[Smoothcall]

Smooth all,

As always, thanks for doing this.
My question is about building comfort in sets. I understand that comfort is about actually taking the time to get to know the girl, but I'm curious to know how you bring up "comfort" questions in set. I'm familiar with the cube but that isn't always conducive to loud venues. So I was wondering if you had any other advice for building comfort and building an emotional connection after dhv'ing?

Thanks

Saber

Sometimes you need to get some isolation. Go on a "mini-date," for example--this could be a quick tour of some part of the venue that is upstairs or in the back or something. Or just going out for a breath of fresh air. A bounce afterwards to a place that is close enough to walk to can also work. Once you get there, you can play the question game that Mystery wrote about in The Mystery Method. Or some other routine that you like.

I was using the question game right up until the end. I used on the day1 I had with my wife. She says that she knew exactly what I was doing, but still appreciated the fact that I had put some effort in.

She had some pretty good questions too. The one I remember especially was, 'If you had to lose a couple of inches, would it be off your height or down there?" Because I'm almost 6' 3", it was easy to say my height.

[Saber]

Smooth all,

As always, thanks for doing this.
My question is about building comfort in sets. I understand that comfort is about actually taking the time to get to know the girl, but I'm curious to know how you bring up "comfort" questions in set. I'm familiar with the cube but that isn't always conducive to loud venues. So I was wondering if you had any other advice for building comfort and building an emotional connection after dhv'ing?

Thanks

Saber

Sometimes you need to get some isolation. Go on a "mini-date," for example--this could be a quick tour of some part of the venue that is upstairs or in the back or something. Or just going out for a breath of fresh air. A bounce afterwards to a place that is close enough to walk to can also work. Once you get there, you can play the question game that Mystery wrote about in The Mystery Method. Or some other routine that you like.

I was using the question game right up until the end. I used on the day1 I had with my wife. She says that she knew exactly what I was doing, but still appreciated the fact that I had put some effort in.

She had some pretty good questions too. The one I remember especially was, 'If you had to lose a couple of inches, would it be off your height or down there?" Because I'm almost 6' 3", it was easy to say my height.

Thanks smooth.

I like to use the question game during day 2s but could also use it during the actual approach. To follow up on that... More broadly speaking, how would you recommend I go about building comfort and emotional connections (something I've been pretty bad at even with friend, etc). Are there certain types of topics I should be trying to bring up (I.e. Passions, career aspirations, etc.)

I know the question game accomplishes most of this, but I'm looking for more of an overview. As basic as it may be, it's something I've never been good at.

Thanks

Saber

[Smoothcall]

Smooth all,

As always, thanks for doing this.
My question is about building comfort in sets. I understand that comfort is about actually taking the time to get to know the girl, but I'm curious to know how you bring up "comfort" questions in set. I'm familiar with the cube but that isn't always conducive to loud venues. So I was wondering if you had any other advice for building comfort and building an emotional connection after dhv'ing?

Thanks

Saber

Sometimes you need to get some isolation. Go on a "mini-date," for example--this could be a quick tour of some part of the venue that is upstairs or in the back or something. Or just going out for a breath of fresh air. A bounce afterwards to a place that is close enough to walk to can also work. Once you get there, you can play the question game that Mystery wrote about in The Mystery Method. Or some other routine that you like.

I was using the question game right up until the end. I used on the day1 I had with my wife. She says that she knew exactly what I was doing, but still appreciated the fact that I had put some effort in.

She had some pretty good questions too. The one I remember especially was, 'If you had to lose a couple of inches, would it be off your height or down there?" Because I'm almost 6' 3", it was easy to say my height.

Thanks smooth.

I like to use the question game during day 2s but could also use it during the actual approach. To follow up on that... More broadly speaking, how would you recommend I go about building comfort and emotional connections (something I've been pretty bad at even with friend, etc). Are there certain types of topics I should be trying to bring up (I.e. Passions, career aspirations, etc.)

I know the question game accomplishes most of this, but I'm looking for more of an overview. As basic as it may be, it's something I've never been good at.

Thanks

Saber

Look for commonalities in your experiences and viewpoints. When you are talking, notice her facial expressions or little comments for clues. If you've established enough attraction, she will be looking for commonalities also.

Include references to your friends and family in your conversation. I remember watching Mad Men once and the wife's father said about his son in law, "He's got no people--you can't trust somebody with no people." My experience is that it's true that it is harder to trust someone who has no connections, no family, no friends. Make sure you mention people in your conversation. You know, "When I was visiting my mother last year . . . " Or, "I was talking to my sister last week and . . . " That type of thing.