Earlier this year I took the guys during PROJECT X to the same bar this was first used….and am looking at picking dates for the next one…but I digress.
The IS THIS SEAT TAKEN opener is of my all time favorites. It came to me in field while I was coaching some guys (at the time I was taking guys out for free to polish up my teaching skills hoping it would help me one day become a PUA coach). The guys were all freezing up, that dirty bitch known as AA was getting the best of them, so I decided to open and show them how easy it can be…
Everyone who actually has met me KNOWS I have a very confident and direct style of game. I use a few canned routines if they fall into my lap or if I sense that it is the PERFECT time for something, but I usually just go with the flow.
Canned routines are great for learning structure, or if you draw a blank, or….in times like these!
This opener is NOT an opener you can use all the time, actually it is what I call a CANNED SITUATIONAL OPENER, meaning you can always have it ready but it only works in the right setting/situation. It also works VERY well in the quieter environments that I actually prefer.
SO back to the set-
I turned around and saw three girls sitting behind us and went in. As I approached I noticed there were six glasses on the table, each girl had finished one drink and were close to finishing their second and each of the three chairs they were in had a purse hanging from it, this told me they had been there for little while and it was a safe bet it was just the three of them. I stood in front of a fourth empty chair with my arms on the back of it and leaned in, they all looked up at me wondering what I wanted, (my body language was off and I came in too aggressive) so I leaned back and started to pull the empty chair away. I had slid the chair back a few inches then asked
“Is this seat taken?”
I saw their tension go away when they all thought I wanted to take the chair and bring it to my table, they all responded.
“It’s empty, take it, it’s all yours”
I said “cool, thanks!”
Then pulled the chair the rest of the way out, sat down, and pulled myself up to the table and said
“So what were we all talking about?” With a huge smile!
They all began to laugh and one even said, “wow that was smooth” which I replied with “I know!” ;).
They then picked up their story right where they had left off and I joined in.
Since that night I have used it more times than I can count, only once did I get a not so positive reaction. I just plowed and when I knew the set was wrecked I told them I was kidding and pulled the chair to our table, which we really did need.
You will get responses that the seat is taken or they are holding it for somebody. I usually say, “Cool I will keep it warm for them” and sit then work FAST!
tip: the Facebook Stalker routine works great if you need to lead the conversation after you sit
I have been teaching this opener for a while and the two things I get asked the most as follow ups are-
“How did you notice all that stuff when you first approached them (the 3 purses, the 6 drinks etc..)”
I just did, I didn’t even think about it till I was asked this question, it was only then did I start trying to figure out how was I able to pick up little things like that so fast. I realized that it was because of ALL the training I had done before hand. Not just pick up and infield, but all of my firearms, tactical, and martial arts training. If you need to learn how to do that, do what I did, or take up any hobby/activity that forces you to work on processing information quickly and is alive.
“Why don’t you just sit down and start talking?”
When I was still lived in Hollywood and was working for Neil I was at his house (giving him some gun tips before he finished writing Emergency, showing him my tricked out 870) We had been talking about new routines and I brought this up, Neil was digging it so much that when Mystery and Matador showed up a few minutes later, he had me share it with them.
Mystery then shared HIS seated set/empty seat opener- going and just sitting down in the chair and saying “sorry I am late”
I like that, and have tried it, but I think mine is better, and here is why-
1.It has pattern interrupts in it (you lean in over the chair= they think you want to talk to them, you then pull away the chair and act like you are taking to your table= they think you are leaving and we ALL have dealt with this before)
2.It has an “out”. If things go bad, just act like you really wanted to take the chair.
3.I know TONS of guys who have done the just sitting down routine, this one is different than what everyone else does…
4. Both show confidence, but this one also shows a little more playfulness and a sense of humor.
Very simple to learn, very easy to use, and something you can have in your back pocket when you need it.
Go forth and try it, and let me know what you think.