Tagged: PUA

Just be yourself. What the hell does that mean?

I remember the first time I heard “JUST BE YOURSELF” and thought=

What the fuck does that even mean? I AM being myself, isn’t EVERYONE being themselves?

Even worse, it was said by a beautiful girl and when I asked her to break that down, she just repeated it again, in a more girly voice. (think legally blonde)

I then dismissed it thinking it was shitty and pointless advice that was no help to me.

Throughout the years I heard this again and again, or variations of it, and each time I would think how dumb and pointless this advice was….

 

But does that actually mean it is shitty advice?

 

OR is the problem twofold

  1. Women who I heard this from weren’t able to logically break down what they are EMOTIONALLY attracted to in men and what this actually means at a root level.
  2. I was not in a head space yet where I could understand what this piece of GOLD actually meant!

 

Being “yourself” is an evolving and ever changing reality. I am still ME 20 years after hearing this, I am just an older, wiser, tougher, better looking, and more confident version of myself now. 😀

My favorite analogy on improving yourself and being TRUE to who you are is think about it like a CAR.

Some guys want to just get a girl and do 0% work on improving themselves. This is like trying to sell your car AS IS. Unless you have been taking care of it for all of these years…it won’t get you a lot of money for it.

Now imagine investing a day on improving your ride. You wash it, vacuum it out, and take some really good pictures before posting it online This helps you justify asking for more money for it.

Now imagine if you waxed it, steam cleaned the upholstery and motor, recently put new tires on it, got every service documented and done at the factory auto shop and had the paperwork to prove it. You didn’t just do this to sell it, you actually did this ALL THE TIME because you care about your car, you could justify asking WAY more money for it!

So let’s say this is your car, a 70’s CUDA (one of the coolest cars ever)!

The paint has worn off, the tires don’t match, the grill is missing and so is a headlight, and it actually doesn’t even run. Some people would still be happy buying this car as is, but only a very small segment of the population.

Cuda

 

 

 

 

 

 

But you start working on it, you know how awesome this car can be if you put in the time on rebuilding it. You have the skills, or friends with skills, or the money to hire those with skills, to help you turn this broken down car into a work of art!

 

You strip away everything, which helps you find areas that you didn’t even KNOW you had to work on, until you get to the frame, the FOUNDATION of the car. THEN you start building it back up, bolt by bolt, wire by wire, you decide to improve it and drop a bigger motor in it, add better brakes and wheels, and AC.

 

Once you are done, you have one of the COOLEST cars ever a 440 Cuda. A car that people all over the world dream about, have posters hanging in their bedroom or garage of, people take pictures of it when they see it, strangers honk and wave when they see you driving by, it even might win awards.

This is all the SAME car.

It isn’t PRETENDING to be something it’s not.

It is just being a BETTER version of itself.

Some of you guys might not be classic car, muscle car, or MOPAR fans, and that is fine. All that means is you have BAD TASTE!

I want to say I am joking, but really I am not, the only cars cooler than a 440 ‘Cuda is a Hemi Cuda and a CUDA AAR! 🙂

But if you REALLY don’t like it, that is OK. There are enough people out there that do, and me and them already have something in common.

So when that girl, all of those years ago told me to “just be myself”, this is what she was talking about.

  1. By being MYSELF I was putting out an accurate snapshot of who I am to every woman (and person) I meet. By giving them that honest picture, it makes it much easier for them to decide if I am someone they might click with. When guys are out there PRETENDING TO BE SOMETHING THEY ARE NOT, they are basically lying to everyone they meet. (Women who hook up with these guys and later find out it was all an act, rightfully feel like they were manipulated into bed).
  2. She was also telling me to be the BEST version of myself! Not the stinky, unwashed, fat, bad clothes wearing, weak, unable to protect myself or my loved ones, poor, shy, unconfident version of myself. (which could easily exist if I let it).
    She was saying she wanted the version of me that lives up to my full potential!

Which can be difficult to do…

And it was.

Until my divorce.

Then I decided to make life my bitch and take control of it.

It took a while, I had to break down the areas of my life that need overhauled, rebooted, improved, and even add stuff I never would have dreamed about. Breaking everything down to the foundation let me see things I didn’t even know I needed to work on. It then let me rebuild myself into the man I am today.

The path I travelled was a difficult one. Moving to another state, the amount of money I spent, working a job that was making me sick from all the BS each day, and spending more hours than I can even count working on my Pick Up, Dating, and Life skills.

But now, as I sit here in my home office, looking out the window into the snow covered pine trees, living in Flagstaff, where I have been wanting to move to for years, living with my GF, who is the coolest most amazing woman I have ever met, getting ready to head out to teach a 3 day 1on1 private session, recently returning from a friend and former student’s wedding, working for myself, when I want, with who I want because of the world I have created, and I think back to the version of myself who first heard this, who heard “I want a divorce” who was alone, who was depressed. It’s almost like a dream. I have to really think about it to even remember SOME of that version of myself…and even then it doesn’t feel like ME…not anymore.

I can tell you first hand.

Everything I went thru and all the hard work was all worth it.

2015 was an action packed year for me. I knew I was moving away from Phoenix so spent as much time as I could training with my martial arts instructor, travelling, camping, martial arts, edged weapon and firearms training, and check marking more and more boxes off of my goals list that I made almost 7 years ago.

2016 is right around the corner.

I have accomplished so many things that are on my goals list that I am actually having trouble trying to add MORE things to it!

So if you want to work on goal setting TOGETHER, making 2016 YOUR year, and want to do a frame up rebuild on yourself, your life, or your relationship goals, and become the BEST version of “BEING YOURSELF”, I am here and ready to help.

You can do it solo like I did, and take years figuring it out on your own and hope to get lucky, or you can get my help and learn things in days that took me months or even years to master!

Personal and Private coaching with Stephen

Let’s make 2016 the last year we are unhappy with our direction in life, and instead take it in the direction we want, that WE control!

What can be done to stop the Elliot Rodgers in the world?

 

People are already using this horrible event to further push their political and personal agendas.

As a “PUA” for the last 8 years, a firearms and tactics instructor for the last 13 years, and living with my girlfriend who has a masters and works in the mental/behavioral health field and specializes in crisis response- we may have some of the most qualified and insightful takes on this tragedy.

First up, lets straighten out some of the facts about this story

Clearly this is a TERRIBLE event, and I am NOT using this tragedy to push any political, personal, or radical agenda. I just want to clearly lay out the facts that many news and web sites are slanting in their direction.
I have also read articles referencing Rodger’s posts on various internet sites, one being PUAHate (which is now offline).

The Pick Up Artist Community’s Predictable, Horrible response to a Mass Murder

Lumping PUAHate in with the “Pick Up Artist Community” is the same as saying the NRA and the Brady Campaign are part of the “Gun Rights Community”

They have a 180 degree different view on the subject and both think the others are crazy!

I have had guys message me and posting on my sites that The Bravohood could have saved this guy, which I disagreed with.

Rodger needed a LOT more help than my forum could have offered him. Was his lack of sexual contact with women the focus of his rage that was the tipping point?…sounds like it. But when reading some of his online posts and parts of his manifesto, he was as far off as possible when it comes to what his issue with others was.

 

IT WAS HIM

 

People picked up on his attitude and energy and made the wise decision to STAY AWAY FROM HIM.

Going to the park and sitting for hours hoping women will approach you, bragging about how expensive your shades are and what kind of car your parents bought for you, isn’t the solution to sex and losing your V-card (otherwise that is all any guy would ever do)

Becoming the man that others want to be around, that adds value to other people’s lives, that is fun and exciting and truly knows what you want and works towards attaining those goals= is how you build a life that is inviting to others.

Looking at women as a prize or as a conquest is reducing women to objects and is a distorted and unhealthy view on life and people.

Approaching and building your conversation / social skills, understanding that others don’t look at life or the timeline of attraction the same way as you, that people have to feel different emotions before they become attracted to others, and that just because YOU like someone isn’t a reason for them to like you= are things guys who want to improve their social skills need to understand.

 

My first gut reaction when I first heard about this was to wish I was there and that I could stop him (=Sheepdog Mindset), the main reason I moved from Ca. back to Az. was the gun laws which prevented me from being able to legally carry my firearm, but after 2 engagements with police, it wasn’t until he wrecked his own car before he killed himself.   Which proves how difficult shooting on the move can be, unfortunately none of those officers were around when Elliot was on foot.

My 2nd thought was, if only he had worked past some of his issues, maybe he wouldn’t have snapped. Then I read

Rodger had been seeing therapists on and off since he was 8, according to Astaire. He went to high school in Van Nuys, California, and met with a therapist “pretty much every day,” Astaire said.

So it looks like he was getting as much help people thought he needed, and unless he has a history of violence, there wasn’t much more anyone could do.

So what could have been done to stop him?

Sarah, please take it away-


 

Let me start with this disclaimer: I have no special knowledge of Elliot Rodger or the case. I am basing my assessment of him and this situation from what I have reviewed of Elliot’s posts, from what I have gathered from the news and internet, and from my eight years of education and experience in the behavioral health field.

There have been reports that he had mental health issues, ranging from high functioning Aspergers to extreme paranoia and auditory hallucinations (hearing voices). I have no doubt that he did have Aspergers, which would account for his poorly developed social skills and inability to communicate well with others or make friends. He was also reported as very intelligent, which would account for his ability to later say whatever was needed to keep the police from forcing him to undergo an involuntary psychiatric assessment, when his parents called them for a well check. I see no evidence of paranoia or hallucinations, other than possible delusions of grandeur.

What I do see is a very angry and bitter young man, who instead of turning that anger and disappointment inward as many of us do (which results in depression, social anxiety, low self esteem, and/or impaired self confidence), Elliot Rodgerprojected all of it onto other people, blaming them for his perceived social exclusion. Regardless of whether this was caused by growing up feeling entitled to life’s happiness and others’ attention in an affluent family who gave him whatever he wanted, or due to blossoming mental health issues (most likely a bit of both), this anger and perceived injustice snowballed into a hateful narcissistic rage towards everyone he thought was having more fun than him.

 

What would it have taken to have stopped him, & what to do if you recognize an Elliot Rodger

 

Clearly there were a lot of variables here, and many people want to name or blame one (guns, improvement of social skills, police involvement, mental health treatment, parents teaching him accountability/work ethic/responsibility instead of spoiling and enabling him). Very likely, there is not just one variable that needed to have been addressed to change the course of events. I am going to focus here on the mental health and police involvement aspects, as this is what I do nearly every day here in Arizona (another disclaimer: I am familiar with this process only for Arizona; it varies somewhat from county to county and state to state, though the process and laws are usually comparable).

Anyone who saw the videos and realized how concerning they were could have reported it to police, who would have completed a well check (basically going out to his house to ask him if he was okay, and if he was really going to kill anyone). If the police felt that there was reasonable cause for concern (that he may harm himself, someone else, or had substantial enough psychiatric issues), they could have brought him in for an involuntary psychiatric assessment by a psychiatrist (this has many names, a involuntary psychiatric hold, a civil commitment, a psychiatric petition, and in California a 5150. In Arizona we call it a petition for short, which is how I will refer to it). However, as long as you say the right things to police and/or the psychiatrist (“no, i would never harm anyone, I was just angry, it was actually for a school project,” etc, etc) it is usually relatively easy to talk your way out of this type of situation. Keep in mind that when the police complete a well check, not only are they usually not trained to recognize mental health issues, they have to have reasonable cause to bring someone in. This could make it relatively easy for someone to say the things the police need to hear to believe you are not a danger. Even if the psychiatrist deems it appropriate to hold you for a couple hours up to a couple days, it is difficult to keep someone any longer than that, who is not gravely disabled or clearly a danger to self/others.

 

So what could have been done?

 

His parents could have continued following up, continued calling police for well checks, sought crisis intervention, went to his place and demand to search his room, ensured police or crisis staff actually viewed some of the concerning material, and his parents themselves (or anyone who heard/read his material) could have completed the petition. Most likely, they were unaware of the petitioning process and how to handle the situation (most people are) and did not want to believe he was capable of such violence. Clearly outpatient counseling and psychiatric services were not enough, and I am not convinced that a stay in the psych ward would have changed his belief that he was superior to others and that women (and “obnoxious men”) should pay for having denied him a happy life. By the time he had begun to plan to murder those he deemed responsible for his unhappiness, it would have taken drastic measures to have stopped him, such as an long psychiatric stay or imprisonment. And on what grounds? We live in a country where it is extremely difficult to hold or lock up people against their will, even search their house, without a very good reason. Prior to the last video being put up by Elliot, there was most likely not much to go off, unless his parents would have found his guns and writings about killing people.

Luckily, those who exhibit any Elliot type behaviors or make similar statements most likely are not quite to the extreme state that he was in just prior to the killings. If you ever hear anyone make statements about wanting to kill other people and you think that they could be even the least bit serious (and you don’t feel comfortable talking with this person to explore the issues and find out more), report it to the police and/or crisis line in your area. And keep reporting anything you hear that could indicate that person has thoughts or harm others, or him/her self. Sometimes it really does take more than one phone call.

 

What if you recognize a little bit of Elliot Rodger in yourself?

 

I have been hearing that there are many people out there who in some ways identify with or admire what Elliot did. They may feel a lack of social connections with others, they may turn the anger and disappointment inwards, or may suffer from social anxiety, depression, lack of self confidence or low self esteem. They may feel jealous and resentful of others whom they perceive to have happy and fulfilling lives, and they may be tired of feeling lonely and alone. If there is any part of you that can identify with this, and you recognize this is due at least partly to your own shortcomings, there is good news. You are one major step ahead of Elliot in improving your life than he ever was, and ever will be. The first step toward improving the quality of your life is simply being aware that there is something you would like to change or improve about yourself, and taking ownership of it. Social anxiety and depression are very treatable, and millions of people throughout the world have improved their communication and social skills, once they recognize that they are the only ones who have the responsibility and the power to make it happen. I urge any of you who feel as though they can identify with Elliot, take this moment to consider what it is that you are truly unhappy with in your life, and recognize that there are opportunities to change it. Counseling and therapy works for lots of people, and there are millions of people out there who are able to make improvements in their lives using self help/ self improvement techniques and opportunities, of which there are literally millions. Suicide (and in this case, hurting other people) is what some may turn to when they truly feel they have no other choice or opportunities in life. However, there are crisis services out there who help people every day when their thoughts turn hopeless and dark. The National Suicide Hotline is available 24/7, and is not just for people who are suicidal, but those going through a hard time. They have internet chat capabilities, and can also sometimes connect you to a local hotline that has more resources available in your area: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org, or 1-800-273-TALK.

 


Thanks Sarah for sharing that info with my guys on your day off!

 

 

The bottom line is crazy people, unless stopped, will always find a way to cause others harm. There are steps I take every day to mitigate the chances of ever being in life or death situations. There are also steps I take, that up my levels of awareness and options I have to defend myself and others. (and have had to use) But when someone decides to sneak attack random people in what should be safe environments, no additional laws or regulations will stop them from carrying out their goals.

Taking away the rights of others, never prevents it.

-For any of you guys who feel like you need the help Sarah wrote about, please do it. Having met quite a few of her co-workers, I can vouch for their amazing commitment to caring and helping people in their times of need, something I can relate to!

-For any of you guys who are looking for help in the areas that I teach and need support, positive advice, want to learn how to socialize  and connect with others on a deeper and honest level, please join our FREE FORUM where guys like you (and me) have been able to improve our lives and are helping others do the same.

How to handle flakes

One of the most misunderstood and most difficult to overcome sticking points for new guys.

 

Flakes

The fear of the approach is so powerful, that it quickly filters out the guys who aren’t committed to learning this stuff. But new guys who have very little experience getting numbers and getting dates start encountering “flakes” and their resolve and self confidence can get a bit shaky. Lucky for you, I am going to break this down so you can instantly understand what is going on…and you don’t have to spend a year trying to figure this out on your own (like I did back in 2006 which ultimately lead to the Bravo Number Close)

Guys (and AFC me) have so much trouble trying to understand this because we are still viewing the world thru AFC glasses, and have a distorted view on is actually going on.

The most important and first thing you need to understand is=

 

A reschedule is different than a flake

 

 

“Hey, something came up and I have to stay late at work tonight so I can’t meet you for a drink, can we hang out tomorrow?”

That COULD be a 100% legit excuse!mans since she is offering a reschedule date, that conveys that she WANTS to see you.

If she’s doesn’t offer a hard date and is more general with something like “maybe next week” then you should try to lock it down. If she is wishy washy on setting a time then respond back like a confident guy would with, “cool, well let me know when you are free and we can do something then  :)”

That way the ball is in her court, incase she IS wanting to see you, the door is still open and her getting back to you is her giving you a big GREEN LIGHT. This also saves time my time because I don’t think about her or the date again until she contacts me, and it prevents AFCs from contacting her too much and looking creepy. It also conveys that I am a man with other options.

When dealing with a legit reschedule, I give her 1 chance at another time. If she wants to see me, she will find away. If she is on the fence just trying to “politely” blow me off (wasting a guys time and giving him false hope isn’t the polite way ladies. This is a good example of woman logic. If she doesn’t have to deal with the repercussions. It doesn’t exist). Now there are always exceptions to the rules and one girl who is a nurse and was on call had to reschedule a few dates, and because I was attracted to her, I let it slide. I did however let it be known that any time that happened, she had to figure out a way to make it up to me…and she always did! 😉

 

Now a TRUE flake=  a chick blows you off, stands you up, leaves you hanging= fuck her.

 

Back in my AFC days, a flake would get me worried. (me being the super nice guy that I was)

  • She was digging me…and she wouldn’t do this, she’s not that type of girl….so something clearly happened…I wonder if she got into a car accident or something.
  • Is she OK?
  • I need to know.
  • Maybe she’s lost.
  • I better call her again.
  • No answer.
  • I better call her again.
  • Shit. No answer.
  • I’ll know, I’ll text letting her know it’s OK to blow me off!
  • “If you don’t want to go out with me that’s cool, I just want to make sure you are OK. Just text me so I know. Either way I wish you all the best. :)”

What a giant fucking pussy….that was still painful to just type out….too bad I am not the only one who knows that pain.

Why would you wish a person who just conveyed to you, that you aren’t even worth a few seconds of their time, the best.

 

Fuck them

 

Fuck them

 

Fuuuuuuuuuuuck them!!!

 

 

AFC think like this

Not adults who value their time!

Not MEN!

Our time is our most valuable asset, fuck anyone who wastes mine! (especially whoever invented the fucking automated telemarketer)

Just like fuckers on craigslist who never come by, and don’t call/text/email you saying they changed their mind and leave you waiting around the house for an hour waiting for them.

Fuck them! (got it?)

Bottom line.

If you built SOLID attraction, she wouldn’t flake on you.

—————————————————————-

example time-

Who do you think is the hottest chick in the world?

Megan Fox

Prime Angeline Jolie

Jessica Alba

Or maybe some dirty porn chick.

Whoever she is, it doesn’t matter. The analogy will work. For the sake of the story I’m going to use Natalie Portman.

To help with story
To help with story

Let’s say you bump into her in your home town. You approached her (because you decided FUCK IT and took a shot like a Boss) clicked and go for the number close.

“I actually don’t even have a phone right now. It got hacked and I’m going over to japan for a month for a movie. But give me your number and I PROMISE that I will call you when I get back and we will have a date”

What would you do?

Of course you’d give it to her!!

So a month goes by, you tell all of your friends about it, and as 30 days draw closer you start getting excited.

Every time the phone rings you get excited, only to look at the caller ID and see its work, or even worse. Mom.

A few weeks go by

A month or 2

4 months go by and you’ve finally accepted that she isn’t calling, none of your friends believe you and you are so bummed, you don’t even jack to her anymore.

Then the phone rings and it’s some weird number.

“Hello?”

“Hey……Stephen? It’s Natalie. I’m not sure if you remember me…”

“Natalie, of course I remember you…… what happened?”

“I am SOOOO sorry. I put your number in my purse, it got packed up, I looked for it everywhere, and I JUST found it and called you right away.

I really want to see you….if you still do?”

– of course we want to

“I’m in town this weekend, I have a suite at the Ritz and was wondering if you would want to come over, we can get room service and enjoy the hot tub that is in my room?”

– of course what would you say???

 

But, you have to work?

So what would you do?

Take time off? Call in sick? What if they won’t let you… quit your job?

What if it is your mom’s 60th birthday that weekend?

“Sorry mom. I’m sick. Cough cough. I can’t make it.”

Or are you cool enough with your mom-

“Hey mom, just got off the phone with Natalie Portman, we are hanging out this weekend, she’s in town, and we are hot tubbing, cool if I raincheck the bday?”

“Sure thing! Good luck Steve, wear a rubber, pretty sure she banged Russell Brand.”

“Shit, good memory, Thanks mom!”

Now why would I blow off mom’ bday for a chick that I don’t really know, and left my hanging for months?

Because she Natalie Fucking Portman, that’s why!!!!!!!!

She has SO much value (in my head), social proof, is hot, rich, basically she has +5000 attraction in my mind.

So if the girl you number closed last week only has +10 attraction in YOU, she might flake for any reason. If someone else comes along who rolls a +200 attraction, you get downgraded to a +2 and get blown off. Or since you only worked flash game, had a +200, but a day later, after she had time to think about things, and decided she didn’t like the pink boa as much as she thought….and the alien high five was more gay than cool, then that +200 turns into a -500 and her and her friends sit around making fun of you.

 

How do you fix this and prevent flakes?

 

By running solid game, that connects on a deeper level, that isn’t just flash game, and striking while the iron is hot ( locking in day 2 plans THEN, not days later).

Do that, and your flakes will basically disappear and reschedules rarely, if EVER happen. If they keep happening, then you aren’t running solid game.

I don’t even worry about flakes now. If a girl does flake, then that is her demonstrating her mindset (which clearly is not one I want to be around) that she clearly has bad taste (by not making the time to hang out with an awesome guy like me), or the third reason a chick will flake.

An emergency  actually came up and she couldn’t reschedule with me.

If that happens, then when she does reach out to me later, I have to hear a good excuse, believe her apology, and accept whatever offer she is making to “make it up to me”. If I’m not satisfied with all of those, then her ship has sailed.

Lastly, a simple way to prevent those AFC thoughts from ever building up is to have a texting relationship with her already established. So when she is getting ready to leave she texts to let you know. Maybe she texts you because you have to let her into the building from outside, or for any other reason you can think of. That way if she doesn’t text before your date, you already know and aren’t left swinging in the wind.

 

Simple

😀

What to say when a girl tells you she has a boyfriend

Location: Scottsdale Mall

Date: Jan 5th 2013

Objective: demoing direct, day game for student during 1on1

Me= “So I have a question for you, do guys ever hit on you to try and take advantage of your SWEET discount”

 
HBSales Girl= “lol, not that I can remember” 🙂

 
Me= “Well, it’s happening to you NOW! You are incredibly sexy and I want to get to know you better” 😉

 

HBSales Girl= ” hahahaha OMG you are crazy, I might be able to give you a discount…. but I have a boyfriend…”

 

The old “I HAVE A BOYFRIEND”.   A line that has crushed more dreams that the all the hoverboard rumors combined!

I get asked how to handle this on almost every first time Coaching Call.

So to save myself from having to explain it time and time again ;),  I am posting how I handle this here- to help all my Bravohood brothers!

 
First off you need to understand WHY she is bringing this up, which there are a few reasons she could

 

  1. She doesn’t have a boyfriend, and is trying to get you to stop hitting on her
  2. She has a serious boyfriend.
  3. She maybe has a boyfriend/ or someone she is into, and she is more attracted to him … for now

 

The first one is the worst. She is trying to be “nice” about blowing you off, which many guys take as-

“ya she was digging my shit and she wanted my D, BUTTTTTT she had a BF”

When really she was just creeped out by him and said it to get him to leave her alone. Since she didn’t check him, he didn’t think how he acted caused it, so he keeps acting the same way, and continues being creepy. (thanks GIRLS!)

If she is in a happy, committed and serious relationship, then when she says that she has a BF= she means it and is letting you know so you aren’t wasting each others time.

So then that only leave #3. Which is the one that you can play with.

Again you have to THINK about WHY she brought up that she “has a boyfriend”. Most of the time, guys aren’t as direct as me, and if they are running indirect game and she drops the BF line, then that means you were triggering the I AM HITTING ON YOU switch in her brain. So to fix that, hold back on anything that she could be picking up as an indicator of interest, throw a disqualifier out there, or change up your stack.

 

If you are running more cocky/funny direct game, like I prefer, then when I deliver my statement of intent, it make it perfectly clear what my intentions are.
– and my mindset is I would always rather be the guy who went for it and gets rejected, than the guy sitting at home, ALONE, wishing he tried

 

My joke about guys hitting on her for a discount, is something I got from Seinfeld, I use it ALL the time, and even if I don’t get the girl I can almost always get a discount!!! (and most importantly it is FUN for me to use) so that is a FREE TOP SECRET opener for you guys, that works awesome on Hired Guns- you are welcome.

 

So did I get her phone number?

 

Yes!

How I use to respond to the BF line was with something like “Great, I am not looking for a GF, I am looking for someone just to have fun with” 😉  and then I would plow.

OR

“You don’t have to convince me that other people find you attractive” -or another cocky/funny line along those lines.

But then I saw The Break Up. My brother kept telling me to watch it because of the dirty dishes scene

Gary: “Fine, I’ll help you do the damn dishes.”

Brooke: “That’s not what I want. I want you to want to do the dishes.”

Gary: “Why would I want to do dishes?”

Again Vince Vaughn delivers.

But the scene that I thought was the best was the opening scene where he hits on Jennifer Aniston at the baseball game and then when she brings up that she has (and was with) her BF- he plows like a BOSS!!!

 

 

So I modified it and that is how I followed up with HBSales Girl.

 

HBSales Girl= ” hahahaha OMG you are crazy, I might be able to give you a discount…. but I have a boyfriend…”

Me= “Are you going to marry him?

HBSales Girl= “I don’t know….I am only 23…I’m not thinking about marriage yet.

Me= “Then that is a NO!”

HBSales Girl= “no it’s NOT!”

Me= ” yes it is…because if it was a yes, you would’ve said YES, since you didn’t say yes…that means it’s a NO! 😉 I am pretty awesome and we might REALLY hit it off….so you kinda owe it to yourself to see if we click.  You seem like the type of girl who is into really good beer. Have you been to Angels Trumpet Ale House yet?”

HBSales Girl= “no, but I’ve been wanting to check it out!”

Me= “you have to! It’s awesome, tons of super cool beer from all over the place, you have to look at the chalkboard out back to see what they have. So I’ll take you there and we can grab a beer, give me your number and we can go sometime this week.

HBSales Girl= “Ok, here it is (writes it down) I’m looking forward to having a few beers with you! :D”

Me= “No I said A beer…not multiple beers….Right now it is taking every ounce of self control I have not to hop over this counter and just have my way with you. I can control myself if I have ONE beer…but if I have a couple….well I can’t promise you will be safe. ;)”

HBSales Girl= “OMG!!!! You are crazy…..OK I look forward to grabbing a few beers with you ;)”

Me= ” You are a baddddd girl ;)”

We walk out of the store and my student turns to me and says. “What just happened??? She said she had a boyfriend and then a few seconds later she is giving you her number….how is that even possible”

😀

 
So that is how I handle the BF line, when it RARELY comes up (it rarely comes up because if you are awesome, many a girl who has a BF will NEVER even mention it!)

  • Remain unfazed
  • Ask if she is going to marry him – if YES, then I would stand down
  • Anything other than YES, say “then that is a NO!” with a big smile
  • Tell her that you are probably going to hit it off and that she owes it to herself to see
  • Transition right into date plans (this girl had a rocker vibe so cold read her and went the beer route, also figured that she hadn’t been to this bar yet because it was fairly new and a bit of a drive from where she worked
  • Escalated and ABCed (Always Be Closing)

 

Point about my morals= I pushed this one a bit, to show what is possible in front of my student and to show off just a little.
If a girl legit has a BF I will not pursue her. I don’t want to be the guy who breaks them up, and I don’t want to possibly START a relationship with a girl on those terms. Many times the girl will later say that she doesn’t have a BF, that he was just someone she went on a few dates with, or she just ended a relationship. In that case=

 

Game on motherfucker!

She thanks me for taking her virginity…

“I’m really lucky that my first time is with you” -a lovely, 22 year old, dancer, former virgin.

In this audio, listen to PROOF that you can be smooth with the ladies, NOT be a dirtbag, and actually have them THANK you for fucking their brains out.

 

Thank_you_from_a_virgin_BravoPUA.mp3

 

….I have a rough life, but I do it all for you guys!

😉

“NICE guys” love to try and get on their moral high horse when getting into pick up. They develop a set of beliefs about what is RIGHT and what is WRONG, either thru crappy love movies, bad advice from women, or just from their distorted imagination about what women want.

One of the most frustrating things, as a coach, is trying to break thru this….getting them to realize they don’t understand women and to drop all of their incorrect and unsubstantiated beliefs.

So while we were laying in bed after sex, and the conversation started to go down this path, I thought hearing it from a woman might help some of you- so quickly grabbed my camera! (which of course is always strategically places near my bed)

We already talked about my job and everything I do, and we also made some videos after this…further proving that she was a NAUGHTY girl just WAITING for a man to come along and make her feel safe enough to share her inner slut, which I was happy to help.

Which leads into another important lesson. The sex toy industry is already over 4 BILLION dollars a year, which is a market dominated by women (toys for women / porn for men)- how much more proof do guys need that women WANT sex!!!

Lastly the audio also proves that being 100% open and honest with your intentions can lead to some amazing experiences.

 

Isn’t it about time you learn how to be the man they are playing with themselves every night thinking about?

 

COACHING with Bravo

 

She actually contacted ME first on PoF, because of my profile which I cover in my Online Game 2.0 program

 

How awesome is that?

She hit on ME first, and then thanked me for fucking her.

 

2 lessons from dirty homeless people – that can help your game

“Holy shit, I just had to call someone and share this, I am stuck in traffic on Fairfax and there is some fat homeless lady SHITTING in the gutter!”

 

“Well….welcome to LA!”

 

Anyone who has been stuck in LA traffic knows how insane it is- and just so you guys can fully appreciate it, here is a vid I took years ago where a handicapped dude with a wonked up leg, gets around faster than me in my truck!

 

 

Now that you know clearly how bad it is, this intersection is even worse, 3 lights later and I haven’t moved an inch.

So when she pulled down her filthy purple sweat pants and just started shitting away next to the CVS, I was stuck there for all of it’s glory.

 

As she started taking care of business, I looked around at all of the people who were also witnessing this horrible, HORRIBLE sight, and to see their reactions. (I at least wanted to get something good out of this!)

People in the cars around me either didn’t even see it (great level of awareness) or they pretended like they didn’t.

Just then a small group exited the CVS and turned left, heading right towards her……finally something good was going to come of this, the guys and the girl would see it and FREAK OUT resulting in lulz

 

….at least I imagined they would

 

Slowly they got closer….and closer…UNTIL

 

The girl moved her head a few inches to her right….then shot it straight forward again as they walked past her.

 

NOTHING

DAMMIT

 

As soon as they got a few steps past the mad shitter, I saw her elbow the guy on the left, her eyes grow large and she mouthed the words

“OH MY GOD!”

They all looked over their shoulder for a second, turned around, exchanged a few words, but didn’t look back and didn’t stop walking.

 

So now one of the most horrible and disgusting sites I have ever witnessed in my life, only garnered a look and an elbow, thus resulting in me calling my friend to share it with her.

 

Afterwards it got me thinking, one of the BIGGEST fears guys have when approaching chicks is-

 

THE FEAR OF BEING WATCHED

 

  • What if people are watching me hit on her?
  • What if I get rejected in front of people?
  • What if they hear what I say?
  • etc.

Well here is some news for you

NO ONE GIVES A SHIT!

The dirty homeles lady TAKING A SHIT proved this!
There she was, shitting for the whole world to see and

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Guess what, you know how you (currently or use to) walk around in your own bubble, with your head down, missing most of what goes on in the world,  and worrying about everyone else judging you…

EVERYONE DOES THAT

and the people who don’t, don’t give a fuck about you, and they sure as fuck don’t give a shit about you walking over to a girl and hitting on her!

 

LOOK AT THAT HETROSEXUAL OVER THERE TALKING TO THAT HOT CHICK…  LETS GET HIM BOYS!!!

 

So lesson #1 is

GET RID OF THAT IRRATIONAL FEAR ABOUT BEING WATCHED, YOU AREN’T THAT BIG OF A DEAL IN THEIR WORLD

 

 

Next up is the fear of rejection

 

When was the last time a dirty bum hit you up for some spare change?

How many times has this happened in your whole life?

(hard to remember isn’t it?)

 

I have gotten pretty good with my serious face throughout the years, homeless people usually know better than to ask me. I also really HATE it when those fuckers hit me up.

Ya let me GIVE you some of my money, that I worked hard for, so you can go eat, or more likely, go get some drugs- FOR FREE!!!

=FUCK OFF

 

(but I will be honest, the last one who hit me up outside the UPS store had a dog and got 75 cents from me, using the sympathy pet card…well played you dirty bearded fuck…well played)

 

If a bum had AA or was scared of being rejected, he wouldn’t be able to eat, or score!

I usually just ignore them, but man have I heard some HORRIBLE shit said to them in my life!

So I have rejected, or flat out ignored more bums than I could even guess, but seconds later when I get in my car, I don’t give them a second thought.

EVEN if I did, all day, until I was in bed that night looking up at the ceiling, shaking a fist and screaming

 

“DAMN YOU YOU FILTHY BUM! HOW DARE YOU ASK ME FOR A QUARTER!!!!!”

 

it would have 0% effect on him and the rest of his life

I guarantee he has already forgotten about it, so the only place that it would “live on” is in my mind.

-and back to lesson #1, even if someone else saw it, they wouldn’t care either.

 

Just like us walking out of the grocery store, and we see the homeless guy start to snap into action, we kick into autopilot mode and deal with it and either blow him off, make an excuse, ignore him, or give him something.

EVERY other homeless guy before him has helped program our reaction.

So lets flip it, you approach some hottie and she blows you off.

  • EVERY other guy who has approached her had a hand her her reaction to you, so don’t take it personally.
  • 2nd, if she does blow you out, seconds later she has ALREADY FORGOTTEN about you and isn’t giving you a 2nd thought, so why are you?
  • 3rd even if she DID, all that night she kept fuming over the guy who talked to her and asked her about her opinion on something, she went home and took off her push up bra and fake eyelashes, and was looking in the mirror with bloodshot eyes full of anger towards you- you would’t even know and it has 0% effect on you.

So lesson #2 is

GET RID OF THAT POINTLESS FEAR OF REJECTION, IT’S GOING TO HAPPEN, IT DOESN’T MATTER, AND THE ONLY PLACE IT LIVES ON IS IN YOUR HEAD

-IF you let it

Project X

Like many of you after I finished reading The Game, I thought WHAT IF…

 

  • What if I could master the art of Pick Up and the skills of Attraction
  • What if I could get the balls to walk right up to a beautiful girl and talk to her
  • What if I could seduce her
  • What if I could make her a girlfriend (s)
  • What if I could finally start living the life I always dreamed about

 

The problem was, we didn’t know where to start or where to go.

Then after a little time on Google, we’d stumbled upon a site that offered us a chance to MASTER THE GAME, the only problem was a rushed together E-Book or a crappy set of DVDs isn’t going to do shit to help us in the long run!

 

(Luckily for me, I got into this years ago and did’t have to deal with as many scammers and liars as you do.)

 

But the biggest WHAT IF of them all, the one I, and pretty sure ALL of you dreamed about, was never even offered before?

 

UNTIL NOW

*fuck I feel cheesy writing that

What did we all dream being a part of, so we could not only MASTER everything I listed above, but even MORE

 

 

 

 

 

 

Project Hollywod

 

Too bad it was already LONG GONE by the time you finished reading about it.

So I had to develop my own version of it, I could rebuild it, make it stronger…faster

I used all the knowledge I have gained in my years learning THE GAME

From teaching across the world, helping THOUSAND of men, running sold out seminars and bootcamps, and working with/teaching/partying with the WHO’s WHO of OG’ers from THE GAME

Using the skills I learned before Pick Up, where I taught military and law enforcement across the United States the skills they needed to survive

From being married, going thru a divorce, and all the girls I have dated before and after

Running a yoga studio focusing on health and wellness

-I forget that I have done all that sometimes 😀

 

SO I have been spending years thinking about what my DREAM program would contain

 

and now for the first time can publicly share a little bit of what I am calling

 

PROJECT X

 

It’s not a seminar

not a bootcamp

It’s BOTH

…and MORE

 

Quiet and private place to learn at- CHECK

Low student to instructor ratio- CHECK

Near bars, clubs, coffee shops, malls, busy sidewalks to practice DAY and NIGHT game- CHECK

GOOD food- CHECK

Transportation to and from the airport- CHECK

Place to sleep, after party (and use for sexy time)- CHECK

Learning from one of the TOP MASTER PUAs in The Game today- CHECK

Having me as your personal wing while in field- CHECK

Proven routines and top secret tips and tricks taught that you can use that night- CHECK

On the fly adjustments to cover exactly what you need and want, not stuff you already know- CHECK

Charging WAY less than what I could in this industry- CHECK

Money back guarantee- CHECK

TOP SECRET ALPHA MALE adventures- CHECK

 

and that is just some of it!

 

Let me summarize all of that for ya

You cover getting here and your spot in this course, and everything else is taken care of, for less than what others charge, who offer WAY less than I, and we basically live together for 3 days EATING AND BREATHING pick up and alpha-ness

 

Now the disclaimer

This might be a horrible idea, I might lose my ass doing this, maybe I test it out and it is just too much for me to handle and I never offer it again.

So what I am going to do is offer PROJECT X, ONLY ONCE, at a special discount to readers of my blog and my forum. Afterwards if the guys who are in it tell me it is even half as cool as I think it is, MAYBE I will offer it again, at the normal (still low) price.

This isn’t BS marketing spin, there is only 1 of me, I can only handle a handful of guys (since I always hold myself to the highest in professional standards), and a few of the spots are already RSVPed for guys who I have been doing long term coaching with (you can ask them about it on my forum)

So if this is something you want to make sure you hear about FIRST and want in, sign up on the upper right side of this page with your name and email address, and follow the steps, any questions post below. Once I launch this, it will be first come first serve, and only way I can do that fair is to blast it to my list at the same time. (you of course can keep checking back HERE to see if you beat me by the 10 mins it takes me to do that after I post)

After those spots are gone it will be closed.

And to give you a little more info, all I can share now is this will be happening in Phx and around 30-45 days from NOW

 

Your move

Online Game 2.0 is LIVE!!!!

I am very happy to share this with you guys.

It took a little longer than I hoped to create (it always does) but I wanted to make it as awesome as possible for you guys.

I am VERY proud of this program and can not wait for you to start experiencing just a piece of the amazing life I have.

See ya on the forum!!!

http://bravopua.com/blog/coaching/online-game-2-0/

Just added this vid. he felt like coming up to tell me he thought my presentation (a condensed version of the 2.0 program) at the 2010 PUA SUMMIT was solid, so I got a quick clip

😀

Online Game 2.0 coming soon

The contest we ran for the beta testers was a blast. I am currently putting the final touches on my new ONLINE GAME PROGRAM.

Guys have been posting on my forum, PMing me, emailing me, and Facebooking me asking for more info.

So making this post to answer those questions (and because I can just link you here 🙂

First off, I hate e-books. I have never read an entire one, and can’t stand it when someone asks a simple question they get directed to a 96page ebook to find the answer. I also have 1000’s of pages of ebooks saved which I am 100% sure I will never read.

That brings up my next point, saving this stuff on your computer. I love organizing my shit, but if the hard drive crashes, your laptop gets stolen, or there is a fire, you loose everything. That is why I made the switch to gmail and google docs a while ago, and helped all the other Stylelife coaches use it. In the cloud is the future. I even got rid of my TV years ago and have using Hulu, Netflix and torrents just fine. If you loose the DVD or scratch it you are fucked. If you want to just watch a small clip on it, it takes 20 mins to load it and fast forward to find it.

Which brings up the next point. How many people buy CDs anymore? DVDs? Video Games? Books? Those are all dying out. I transferred all my music to digital, and did the same with my favorite movies. I can access them instantly thru my PS3 for movie nights with the ladies.  After my last move I wanted to get rid of most of my books, now with the iPad and kindle, so are others.

Because this is MY site, I can create a program exactly the way I want. (it’s good to be the king).

So all the shit that always bugged me about all the PUA products out there (besides most of them sucking and they guys selling them are just trying to make a quick buck) I decided not to do.

I had to figure out a way to get the information from my brain to your brain as efficiency and effectively as possible.

And I have to admit, I am really proud with the solution I came up with.

Almost everyone watches movies online, and for the few who haven’t you have at LEAST watched YouTube clips. So my ONLINE GAME training video will be available to you 24/7, instantly streaming. You can watch it as many times as you want, from where ever you want. This is my newest and most up to date tactics for getting girls on dating sites, how to pick the best site, and everything you need to pimp out your page.

Just a few of the tips from the video alone has led to results like this-

I ran across a post of Bravo’s on an internet discussion forum, where he talked about ways to stand out and get women to respond to you on internet dating sites.
As with most things, I was pretty skeptical. I’ve heard plenty of guys claiming to be a super stud, only to turn out to be a loser dud.
After following the discussion for several days and seeing other members replying and claiming they had used the methods he was promoting, and were now getting noticed by women, I started to get a peaked interest.
To be completely honest though, I decided to move forward with his advice, half because I figured what the hell, anything is worth a shot, and the other half thinking I can expose this guy and those replies a probably his best friends backing him up.
So, I diligently followed his advice, word for word. I wasn’t going to mess this up by slightly changing something and leave him a door to blame any failure on my changes.
Up to that point, I had been on this particular dating site for a few months and had only gotten a handful of replies, and only a couple worth even replying to, using a profile I created myself, and thought was pretty good.
I replaced this all with the suggestions Bravo had made.
Within 3 hours I had 2 replies, both from cute looking girls!
Oh well, even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while, right?
I went to bed that night slightly intrigued with the 2 ladies that had suddenly shown an interest in me.
The next day I was busy and didn’t get to check online until late in the evening. Not even 24 hours had passed, and when I logged in I was shocked. I had 17 women who had send my messages! And at least 6 of them were very attractive girls that seemed to offer other great attributes, like shared interests, good humor, and similar goals.
I was blown away. Consider me a skeptic no more.- BKViper

more can be found as comments on my blog

Also in the 1 hour vid I teach you how to transition OFF the website to the phone and later how to plan the dates.

The next issue I wanted to deal with was the lame ass E-BOOKS. Ever if you read thru it all you have to bookmark sections that are helpful, then have to hand type anything back out.

So I wanted any of the tips I type up for you guys, to be able to not only be read anytime and anywhere, but also so you could just copy/paste it directly to your page.

Need help with an ABOUT ME section on your profile? Here are proven examples I have used, just copy and maybe change 5 words to personalize!

And finally the biggest issue. Once you purchase a product, and the company has your money, they don’t give a shit about you or how you do. Hell just trying to get customer service on the phone for a change of address or refund sometimes seems impossible. So what I decided to do is incorporate my entire ONLINE GAME PROGRAM into my website and onto the most popular section, my forum.

I am really proud of my PUA forum, after running the Stylelife Forums for years (85,000+ members) I got to see the best and the worst of them. I also am the most active Master PUA on the forums and the most accessible to everyone.

So I wrapped everything together.

When you purchase my online game program you will get special access to a private section of my forum. In the section is my ONLINE GAME training video, which ALONE will take your digital game to the next level. But because this section is private we can all share and critique our personal pages, everyone will be adding to the body of knowledge so we always have to most up to date and cutting tactics, I have also posted some direct transcripts of conversations and routines I constantly use to build a connection.

You can also post any question you want, and get direct feedback from everyone else in this private section of ours.

Oh and the best part, a 1 time flat fee that is less than a few months on some of the current most popular dating sites.

The tips you will learn from me, will save you more money than that in the long run.

Anyways that is the update for now, I had a date with a girl from an online site yesterday, I have another one with a girl from a different sites today (one who contacted me first!) and am teaching and hanging at the PUA summit all weekend (if you come by please say HI, would like to grab lunch or dinner with some of the guys there)

I will be launching this program with a special discounted rate next week. If you want to be the first to know put your name and email in the box to the right of this post, so you don’t miss the introduction sale.

See ya on the forum!

Learn why The Fonz got laid

Always knew The Fonz was a PUA!

Good rule of thumb, when not sure what your next move should be with a girl, is it something Richie Cunningham would do? (an AFC)

Keep calling her

Keep texting her

Make the first date a giant event

Send flowers to her work after the 1st date

Tell her you don’t want to have sex, but just cuddle with her

Not eat her out because it is YUCKY

Loan her money

Babysit her kid while she goes out with another guy

Something The Fonz would do=

doesn’t care if he never hears back from a chick, he has 5 more on the hook

hanging out with him IS the giant event on the date

lives above a garage with someone ELSE’s parents and still gets chicks

doesn’t have to drop $ to impress a chick

(this is line of thinking is what originated WWBD)

Some of this sounds like common sense, but common sense isn’t so common…