Fat wallets, insights, and an awesome 1-on-1

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Fat wallets, insights, and an awesome 1-on-1

Postby Stiegl » Thu Apr 10, 2014 11:33 am

I had already been doing coaching calls with Bravo for a while, and I progressed a lot from where I started. There were a lot of points that I was still struggling with, but I had made a lot of headway in getting numbers from attractive women at bars. There was something still off, though, something that wasn’t right in my sub-communication. So I decided to do a 1-on-1 with Bravo to get that part handled.

Little did I know I would get what I was looking for and more.

On the first morning, Bravo gets to my room at 10am sharp, we exchange greetings, and the man gets down to business. He doesn’t waste any time throughout the whole weekend, trying to pack in as much information as possible. Immediately, he starts critiquing my posture, body language, the way I dress… some good things to say and some bad things to say but definitely helpful.

Next, we went into some general game topics, life topics, personal growth, etc. We skipped a lot of game related things because we had already covered that in our coaching calls, so we just spent a lot of time on inner game and lifestyle.

Bravo then showed me how to craft good stories and critiqued some of mine. It was really eye-opening seeing some of his stories, and how he is able to relate it to basic things that come up in conversation. Story telling has always been a weak point of mine, but after we spent a few hours on conversation mapping and conversation steering, things started to make sense. But theory is theory, you can only go so far with it. It all came together like a giant puzzle later that night when we talked to the waitress.

In the evening, we went to the mall. First thing we did is buy me a new shirt so I can look good for the ladies. Then we went around to a bunch of stores and just flirted with the girls. Store after store after store. Yeah, I bombed. But know what was helpful? Seeing Bravo kill it. Watching him open a girl cold. Watching him open the set (the girls love him), then handing it over to me (falls apart), then watching him revive it. Me opening a set and having it go OK, then watching Bravo infuse magic into it. It was brilliant being able to do a side-by-side comparison of what I’m doing with what he is doing, and believe me it’s not just the lines, a lot of it is the presentation… that exercise alone gave me more calibration than months at the bar had.

Halfway through mall game, the highlight of the weekend came. Bravo was bugging me to get rid of my George Costanza wallet (hey, I’m from Canada, we need big wallets for all the coins we use up here, we don’t have dollar bills). I ended up buying a pretty stylin money clip that’s a fraction of my old wallet size. But while I was buying it, we were joking around with the sales girl. Bravo taught me the true power of self amusement as he made joke after joke after (sometimes risky) joke. It was hilarious!! The anti-social sales girl wasn’t having any of it. Stick in the mud. But the both of us were going to fall over from laugher when he brought up preferred disposal methods for my old wallet (‘sup Bravo ;) ) Pure comedy gold.

We then went for dinner to one of the best steak houses in phoenix, and I can tell you the steak was incredible. The only thing that eclipsed the steak was his interaction with the waitress. For the entire meal, that girl pretty much ignored her other tables so she could talk with Bravo. Even when Bravo was checking out her ass (while telling her he was checking out her ass), talking about threesomes, and making sexual innuendo, she still loved US and was talking about how WE made her night. But it is there that I had my “aha!” moment. It wasn’t what Bravo said or did, but it was the patterns I picked up in that long interaction that really made me understand the ratios of banter, DHV stories, compliments, and other things. All of the DHV storytelling and conversation steering we did earlier in the day suddenly fit together like pieces of a puzzle!

The next day, we grabbed breakfast at some little Mexican restaurant that had the best taco’s I’ve ever eaten. The burrito was pretty damned good, but the chicken tacos were just something else. We talked a bit about some goals and life issues, and Bravo gave me some pretty solid advice on how to handle things moving forward. Looking back at it, it was actually very insightful.

One of the things we talked about over breakfast that I really want to share is dealing with overprotective family members. Bravo gave me some wise words when he said “you will get acknowledged as an adult when you have a track record of being an adult”, and this out to be dead on. When I had mentioned to my family that I was flying out to Phoenix to visit a social skills coach, they went into panic. I still decided to go, and I only told my dad because he was the most level headed. When I came back and told them about it, they reacted as if I told them I had gone to the mall. No panic, no anger, they were just glad it all worked out. I was pretty shocked by their lack of reaction, but I guess they just looking out for me because I was trying something new.

We then went to the shooting range and shot Bravo’s sweet sweeeeet AR-15, with all the military goodies attached. Bravo taught me how to shoot a glock and an AR pretty well, and I could have passed a firearms qualification test by the time I was done. I guess he’s just a great teacher all around. I also have some badass pictures that I can use for online game.

The rest of afternoon was spent talking about inner game and various issues I have surrounding my personal growth. I won’t go into the details, but it was really eye opening stuff. This was the second time that day that I was surprised by just how much Bravo understands human nature and how to deal with people.

At night, I had originally wanted to go out to Mill and do some night game, but we decided that we figured out what my issues were the night before, and that it would be more useful to stay in and try to come up with a plan or how to handle these issues. We started talking about personal growth and where we came from and where we are going… during that conversation, I bonded with Bravo as a buddy. It’s also during that conversation that he was able to really offer me some deep insight about myself. Most importantly, though, it was during that conversation that he was able to pinpoint a couple of things about me that I never knew I was doing, and I am amazed that even after asking for critique from family, friends, and my wingman, it was Bravo who was able to see it and describe it in a way so that I can understand how to fix it. I guess that makes a hat-trick for Bravo being a super insightful guy.

At the end of the night, we went for sushi at one awesome restaurant. The sushi there was phenomenal, and it was the first time I tried sake, great experience (delicious, too). Bravo demoed some of the routines he uses on dates by talking about sushi and sake and a bunch of other things. It’s really awesome to have it done on you in person while he is pointing out what he is doing to you… I expected something different out of his routines, something fantastical. I was amazed to see that he is just talking like a real person about real topics... but the way he talks about it, the points he brings across in his stories, the way he stacks DHV’s, the plan he has for the steering the conversation, it’s something you’ve got to see to believe. I think that even if I tried to describe it to someone, I wouldn’t be able to, you just have to see it in action to understand the awesomeness of it.

Bravo dropped me off at the hotel, and like the previous night he gave me a demo of his tactical flashlight and some of the moves he can do with it. I never thought there were 10 different ways to die from a flashlight, but after seeing that demo I’m pretty sure there are 10 ways to die from a paper plate. It was also pretty awesome that Bravo did both of these demo’s even once he was off the clock because he knew I needed the extra time. He put in a few extra hours just to make sure we end up covering everything we wanted to that weekend, and I have to say he really did go above and beyond.

There are so many things I learned from this 1-on-1. I came up with 5 pages of notes on my flight home the next day. The biggest things for me, though, was getting social calibration by watching Bravo in action, and getting a personal critique of what I need to improve, something that other people won’t give me because of social politeness. Bravo is a cool guy to hang out with and he always tries to make you feel awesome, but if there is something you need to improve, he will tell you directly and come up with a plan on what you need to do. That’s the part I appreciated the most.

If you’re going to do a 1-on-1 with Bravo, here are a couple of my recommendations:
1. Talk a little bit. Let Bravo do 90% of the talking, and you just listen. But make sure that you do talk, because he will always have some insight to what you said, whether it’s a better idea, or calling out a negative belief, giving you a better understanding of the topic, whatever. You will get awesome feedback to the things that are in your head just by actually expressing them. But once you do, shut up and listen.
2. There are going to be some ugly truths. Leave your ego at the airport. I knew that going in, and that’s why I feel like I got so much out of it.
3. Don’t focus on what lines Bravo is using, because you can’t do what Bravo does (yet). Look for the patterns in his interactions, stories, and jokes. I learned more by watching the patterns between him and that waitress than I did from anything else.

Overall I would say that I learned a lot from that 1-on-1 that I couldn’t have learned anywhere else, and now it’s up to me to apply this new information and change myself for the better.

PS. Bravo, no one was harmed in the disposal of my George Costanza wallet :)
Last edited by Stiegl on Mon Apr 14, 2014 11:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Fat wallets, insights, and an awesome 1-on-1

Postby Xerces » Fri Apr 11, 2014 4:03 am

Sounds like you just leveled up!

Also props on a very well written 1 on 1.
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Re: Fat wallets, insights, and an awesome 1-on-1

Postby Jay-T » Fri Apr 11, 2014 4:16 am

Those ugly truths are the key to growing sometimes. And it usually requires an outsiders point of view to give them to you. Like you said, no one in your circle will be that honest with you.

Sounds like you had a really great 1 on 1. So make sure and don't let that momentum die. Don't sit in your room analyzing the notes you took, get out and apply them. Don't be afraid to fuck up. They say knowledge is power but that's bullshit. Applied Knowledge is power.
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Re: Fat wallets, insights, and an awesome 1-on-1

Postby Thiga » Fri Apr 11, 2014 12:15 pm

Awesome, well written report.

Just like Jay-t said, those brutal honest comments are usually the most needed.

From experience at PX5, I heard some things that were completely true but still a bitter pill to swallow. But I am sooooo much better now because of them.

Bravo really is trying to help every guy he works with, just dont try to tell anyone on The UG that lol
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Re: Fat wallets, insights, and an awesome 1-on-1

Postby Stiegl » Sat Apr 12, 2014 12:39 pm

Thanks for the support guys.

Those brutal truths showed me I’ve got a couple of things that I need to work on, and I’ve set myself a busy schedule with dates and measurable goals. It’s only been one week, but I’m already starting to see some progress.

It really helped seeing what good interactions are supposed to look like. Now, when I’m flirting or just talking to guys, I can see when a story doesn’t hook the way it should and I can ask myself “hmmm, what can I do to make that story more interesting”, or “what can I do to get a more playful response out of her”.

Like you said, Jay-T, it’s all about applying it and getting feedback in field.
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Re: Fat wallets, insights, and an awesome 1-on-1

Postby rockstar » Mon Apr 14, 2014 8:06 pm

Awesome post, brotha. Sounds like you learned alot. Like everybody else said, the things that are emotional hard to accept, is where growth comes in.
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Re: Fat wallets, insights, and an awesome 1-on-1

Postby Ice » Fri Apr 18, 2014 11:41 am

Sounds amazing. Glad you posted this - looking forward to seeing you grow from here!
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