Shower Thought: Speed Dating vs Cold Approach

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Shower Thought: Speed Dating vs Cold Approach

Postby gringoverde » Sat Dec 10, 2016 1:05 pm

I'm going to yet another speed dating event tonight. I've been to four so far with pretty limited success. I tend to let the woman lead the interaction and shut down in response to the "interview questions." That's the opposite of me in set where I'm a great conversationalist and can generally make the woman laugh or smile.

It occurred to me that speed dating is like cold approach in many ways. You have a forced interaction that is somewhat uncomfortable for both parties. If there isn't a connection within the first little bit, the interaction is going no where. In speed dating, you can't really plow if the set goes bad (limited time) or build additional attraction/comfort if the set goes well (limited time).

I'm wondering if you guys have any more comparisons between the two. How do you take the skills from pickup and apply them to speed dating? I'm planning to continue with speed dating even if i get no results tonight. It's pretty amusing.
gringoverde
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Re: Shower Thought: Speed Dating vs Cold Approach

Postby Ice » Sun Dec 11, 2016 11:21 am

It's all still conversational and people skills at the end of the day.

Sometimes when there isn't initial connection but then our conversation flows to something that we BOTH love = awesome. For me, if a girl loves to cook, drink wine, shoots gun, and knows first aid... if any of these come up in a conversation gets me more interested in a person. Each of these I also have a story for... if no time to tell because of speed dating... can seed in something like - First aid is super important. It came in handy when my best friend had an allergic reaction when we were out shooting and his throat was closing fast. Thankfully, I knew how to handle it. I think we are running out of time, though I could tell you about it later - perhaps over a drink. ;)

When you realize you are shutting down in the moment, ask a question instead. That is a great way to start keeping the conversation going.

Steer the conversation to what YOU are interested to talk about. What do you like in a girl?

And instead of standard boring date questions, can ask them original questions that make you stand out

-- what would you if you knew you had no chance of failure?
-- tell me about a time you are most proud of
-- do you cook, or are you a microwave specialist?
-- what's something big you want to accomplish in 2017

I ask these questions because I like girls that have depth and can reflect and be open and honest about where they are at.

I typically stay away from a/s/l type questions because that 99% of the time never tells me about the type of person they are.

Good on you for going out no matter the outcome. Keep it up.
Ice
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Re: Shower Thought: Speed Dating vs Cold Approach

Postby Ice » Sun Dec 11, 2016 12:21 pm

Also - If you can make a girl laugh with your sense of humour - helps a lot with connection.
Ice
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