"Lesbian" with mixed signals?

Discussion on all topics of approaching and attracting

"Lesbian" with mixed signals?

Postby Slick » Mon Oct 03, 2016 11:49 pm

Haven't posted in a while. Got married, and I seperated from her separated a few months ago, but I bounced back quickly. I'm 23, I've been involved in the community for about 7-8 years. Getting back into it slowly. TL;DR at the bottom

So this girl, HBLes, is someone who I met through a mutual friend about two weeks ago. She is very verbal about her sexuality being ONLY women to most people. I started hanging out with her and said mutual friend, as they are roomates, and we starting hanging out quite a bit. I ended up getting semi-involved with a girl who HBLes happens to like as well, HBbad. Things didn't go as planned, as HBbad hated the fact that me and HBLes did a tad bit of drugs together, so she stopped being in the picture pretty quick, but not before telling HBLes not to fuck me.

The first night we hang out, I end up passing out in her bed, nothing happens.THEN LAST NIGHT, we go out bar hopping, trying to figure out some shit to do and end up having a blast after a shot or two. Flirtations going back and forth, kino is going smooth. Touching her hand here, her leg there, she was being compliant. After a shot or two we loosen up and she tells me how she is TECHNICALLY bisexual, with just a really hard on preference for females, overwhelmingly so. However she has to sometimes give her guy friends a talk when they start trying to basically confess for her.

We bounce back to her place, a friend calls her but she tells him shes about to pass out, but we end up going to her bed and watching a movie together. I put my arm around her, and slowly start escalating. We end up in a full cuddle position with me completely on her, but she falls asleep quickly. She ends up turning around and cuddling into my chest. I'm not a guy to try to fuck with a girl falling asleep, and I wasn't sure HOW DRUNK she actually was, so I didnt force any moves.

Today rolls around and she's more on edge. She goes with me to get food and what not, but I feel she's MORE closed off.

tl;dr HBLes went out for a few drinks with me, gave me positive vibes and compliance in kino and small signs of interest, ended up in her bed, cuddling, felt some intense vibes, but she looked mostly asleep (not 100%). The next day kind of tension between us.

I'm thinking my next move should be to wait for her to re-engage, but I don't know if I should push to escalate further next time, or what. I'm at a loss for once. Any insight is appreciated
Slick
White Belt
White Belt
 
Posts: 36
Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2010 1:47 pm

Re: "Lesbian" with mixed signals?

Postby DJNinja » Tue Oct 04, 2016 7:07 am

Although they won't admit it, every girl is bisexual, some skew more hetero, some skew more lesbian, but they will date whomever - regardless of gender - they find as most "alpha". I know guys who slept with lesbians on the first hangout (me included), it's simply a matter if you have solid game.

Which leads us to your situation. It's a good thing that you didn't push all the way when you were both drunk & sleepy; that's kinda darksided and sketchy.

If you had pushed sooner and escalated faster earlier in the interaction, when you both weren't as drunk & sleepy, you probably would have increased your chances for the lay exponentially. But no worries, lesson learned, you are calibrated for next time.

Regarding next time...she's probably experiencing buyers remorse now, which is why she is being distant and closed off. She knows that if you hang out again, she will eventually sleep with you, but that goes against her social coding as a lesbian, which is why she's avoiding you now.

Sleeping with her is probably not going to happen now, BUT if she's hot, she'll make a great pivot/social proof to use when you go out and hit on other hot chicks. And more importantly, work on leveling up your life so chicks end up chasing YOU.

Looking forward to seeing more from you here!
DJNinja
Purple Belt X
Purple Belt X
 
Posts: 3628
Joined: Mon Mar 21, 2011 7:10 am
Location: The land of sunshine, great weather, babes, bikinis, and all things awesome

Re: "Lesbian" with mixed signals?

Postby Slick » Wed Oct 12, 2016 6:17 am

I've considered letting it go cold for a week or two, then inviting her out and running my game incessantly and using alot more kino on her. Worst case scenario is I just get a bunch of beautiful ladies phone numbers, but I'm wondering if that will ramp up the attraction enough to get some sexual escalation later.
Slick
White Belt
White Belt
 
Posts: 36
Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2010 1:47 pm

Re: "Lesbian" with mixed signals?

Postby Slick » Wed Oct 12, 2016 6:20 am

It's weird because she hits me up first usually to hang out, plans on letting me stay the night, can be touchy on the occasion, yet when I reach a certain point of escalation when I have her isolated it's a complete and total shut down.
Slick
White Belt
White Belt
 
Posts: 36
Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2010 1:47 pm

Re: "Lesbian" with mixed signals?

Postby DJNinja » Wed Oct 12, 2016 7:50 pm

Slick wrote:It's weird because she hits me up first usually to hang out, plans on letting me stay the night, can be touchy on the occasion, yet when I reach a certain point of escalation when I have her isolated it's a complete and total shut down.


This is a congruence issue here; somewhere along the way you were incongruent, and she sees through this. Probably a mismatch between your actions, your words, and your attitude. Your actions (kino, body language) indicate that you are very flirty, very touchy feely. This is a good thing. But are you also escalating into verbal seduction? Sexy talk? Told her what naughty things you want to do to her? Is your attitude also confident like your touch? Do you confidently go for the kiss when you have an opportunity? Do you lead the interaction?

Somewhere in there, there is a mismatch in congruence, which is why she isn't fully opening herself up to you in a sexual manner. To her, it's confusing, she doesn't know who the real you are.
DJNinja
Purple Belt X
Purple Belt X
 
Posts: 3628
Joined: Mon Mar 21, 2011 7:10 am
Location: The land of sunshine, great weather, babes, bikinis, and all things awesome

Re: "Lesbian" with mixed signals?

Postby Slick » Tue Dec 06, 2016 12:57 am

PROGRESS. So after having a short falling out, she recently hit me up to hang out again. I pregamed by going to a bar next door to where we were meeting up (a gaming store) and socializing with some strangers, two girls and a guy, who were far from bad looking but not really my taste. I head into the gaming store and she's just chilling with a few friends, both of which are interested in her as well, but don't have near the game I do. I'm immediately the social butterfly and we all have a good time. We take a smoke break and she's not being as receptive as I want to be, so I tell them I'm heading back to the bar. After a few games of pool with the randos, I invite her over to hang out instead of sitting there being bored at the store with the AFC's. She shows up and immediately I get social proof as the girls are super flirtatious and the dude is super cool as well, and I'm the center of attention. We go outside to smoke again and now shes wrapping her arm through mine, kino out the ass. It's going well. We drink a bit more (I'm pretty wasted at this point), and we head back to her place. She starts to pass out on the couch with her roomates all playing video games, so I TELL her we're going to bed. THIS IS THE PART THAT BOTHERS ME. I don't remember how I escalated, but it worked. She pulls me in and starts making out with me, I slide my hand up her shirt and kiss her deeper, pulling her hair slightly and biting her neck (Thanks to the long-standing routine of how to bite ;) ). We're completely naked and I put on a condom, and she's wet as hell. Then, tragedy. WHISKEY DICK. It might be the nervousness, or the alcohol, or my new cocaine habit I've formed recently (yes I know), but I just could NOT get hard. I was sooo ashamed. Here is the girl I've been gaming for MONTHS, a LESBIAN that always had EVERY GUYS ATTENTION, and I fucked it up. She said "Maybe I should take this as a sign that guys just aren't for me. I don't think guys can get me off anyhow." She followed it up though with "Atleast now that we've seen eachother naked, we can be more intimate, like take showers and what not together. I need a GAME PLAN for the next time we meet up.
Slick
White Belt
White Belt
 
Posts: 36
Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2010 1:47 pm

Re: "Lesbian" with mixed signals?

Postby Slick » Tue Dec 06, 2016 7:52 pm

This has been driving me crazy the past two days. I'm wondering if I missed my opportunity to escalate and if I'll get it again. I'm resisting the inner AFC, even though I know I won't display it, but it's killing me. I put so much of an investment into this.
Slick
White Belt
White Belt
 
Posts: 36
Joined: Sat Aug 28, 2010 1:47 pm

Re: "Lesbian" with mixed signals?

Postby Jungel » Fri Dec 09, 2016 2:36 pm

If shes a lesbian shes used to being satisfied without a dick.
So you should have satisfied her with your mouth, fingers, her toys, whatever. Make it fun.
Just staring at your dick won't make it hard and its not fun. Once you get to that point the pressure makes it difficult to get hard.

Probably whisky dick. Cut yourself off or drink slower, or try a water between each drink.
I know adderal makes it impossible for me to get hard, and that's similar to cocaine in the effects so it could also be that. Mixing uppers and downers (coke and drinks) messes with your body and your mind, making it difficult to get er done.

Its going to be tough to improve your game when you are consuming so much drugs and alcohol.
Jungel
White Belt
White Belt
 
Posts: 80
Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2012 7:13 am
Location: North Jersey


Return to Approaching and attraction

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests

cron