Category: The Funny

Time to FUCK

Project X is less than 48 hours away.

 

From now, until at least Monday…if I survive, I will be offline.

 

So if you contacted me, I will get back to you as soon as I can.

If you purchased any Coaching Calls or my Online Game program, I will set it up ASAP after.

 

I will also let you guys know how it goes after, and also what is in store for BravoPUA.com in the very near future.

 

Until then-

 

 

…going dark

Guide to hiring women

 

Guide to hiring women

 

 

“Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees: There’s no longer any question whether transit companies should hire women for jobs formerly held by men. The draft and manpower shortage has settled that point. The important things now are to select the most efficient women available and how to use them to the best advantage.

Here are eleven helpful tips on the subject from Western Properties:

1. Pick young married women. They usually have more of a sense of responsibility than their unmarried sisters, they’re less likely to be flirtatious, they need the work or they wouldn’t be doing it, they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently.

2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It’s always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.

3. General experience indicates that “husky” girls – those who are just a little on the heavy side – are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.

4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination – one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.

5. Stress at the outset the importance of time the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up.

6. Give the female employee a definite day-long schedule of duties so that they’ll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them, but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves.

7. Whenever possible, let the inside employee change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be less nervous and happier with change.

8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. You have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day.

9. Be tactful when issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can’t shrug off harsh words the way men do. Never ridicule a woman – it breaks her spirit and cuts off her efficiency.

10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl’s husband or father may swear vociferously, she’ll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this.

11. Get enough size variety in operator’s uniforms so that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can’t be stressed too much in keeping women happy.”

Need motivation? My cat has gotten more action than YOU!

 

 

This is Kali, maybe you’ve heard about her before.

 

 

Kali LOVES to snuggle!

Even though I am a dog guy, this little son of a bitch that I found under my truck one day as a tiny starving kitten is my baby. She also sleeps in my bed every night. Sometimes near my feet, other times she likes to climb on top of me and “paw” me as long as she can.

 

She also likes to snuggle with the lucky lady who happens to be in bed with me.

 

I was doing some math a while ago and a VERY safe estimate of girls that Kali has snuggled with would be in the 50’s.

She is polite enough to wait until after sex and any clean up before she hops into bed (she is classy like that) and if the girl likes cats, sooner or later Kali ends up laying on us wanting some lovin too!

The girls are naked while this happens, and at some point Kali cops a feel, other times she will start “pawing” their tits

 

SO if you EVER need any motivation, think about this for a second.

 

My cat, who is a FEMALE, has probably touched more titties in her 7 years on this earth than you have!

 

HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT!!!

 

I don’t want to live in a world where that is the case, so please fix this ASAP!

The Good Wife’s Guide

The Good Wife's Guide

 

  • Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
  • Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
  • Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
  • Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
  • During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
  • Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
  • Be happy to see him.
  • Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
  • Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
  • Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.
  • Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
  • Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
  • Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
  • Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
  • A good wife always knows her place.

FREE Condoms- there’s an app for that

The NYDaily news is reporting that NY released an iPhone/Droid app on Vday that lets you input an address and find 5 places to score condoms for FREE!

What about the rest of us who have condoms named after them and are always prepared?

I want free shit too!

all the “FREE” condoms I ever used were thick as fuck and felt like shit

Anderson Silva won because of Steven Seagal

You might remember several months ago I posted a video of Steven Seagal teaching Anderson Silva some Aikido

Looks like Silva is crediting Sensei Seagal with teaching him the kick that knocked out Vitor last night

not sure why he is wearing yellow shooting glasses and is 2 jackets at the UFC, but who am I to question such a legend

JUST ADDED- ANOTHER VIDEO WHERE HE IS SAYING HE GAVE SILVA THE ENTIRE GAMEPLAN JUST BEFORE THE FIGHT AND IT IS EXACTLY WHAT HE DID

here is the original video of him teaching Silva

low front kicks start around the 4.20 mark

I wonder if Joe Rogan could take him…

Blowjobs CAUSE cancer!

Yahoo news is reporting that more people are getting head and neck cancer and they think it is sex related!

“It seems like a pretty good link that more sexual activity, particularly oral sex, is associated with increased HPV infection,” said Dr. Greg Hartig, professor of otolaryngology–head and neck surgery at the University of Wisconsin School of Medicine and Public Health in Madison.

more….

He has a lot of words after his name, so he sounds legit.

HPV can also cause cervical cancer in chicks.

So don’t suck cock, and stick it in her ass and remain cancer free!

Chick has a stroke caused by a hickey

If you can get a fucking stroke from someone sucking on your neck, WTF can happen from a chick sucking on your dick???

The 44-year-old Maori woman went to the emergency department after experiencing loss of movement in her left arm.

It happened while she was sitting watching television.

The only injury was a lovebite on the right of her neck near an artery.

“Because it was a lovebite there would be a lot of suction.

“Because of the physical trauma it had made a bit of bruising inside the vessel,” said Wu.

“There was a clot in the artery underneath where the hickey was.”

The clot had gone into the woman’s heart and caused a minor stroke that led to the loss of movement, he said.

Moral of the story guys, don’t be sucking on some old chicks neck!

more…

The worst sex of my life (inner game breakthrough)

Many guys I have met comment on how “rock solid” my inner game is and want to know what courses I took or what books I read to get there.

The truth is I didn’t do either of those things.

I had learned throughout the years that the only way to get good at something is to practice it, eg. martial arts and firearms training. My confidence in those skill sets came from my competence. As my shot groups got tighter, faster, and from further away of course I got more confident in my skills.

I also knew that it was a waste of time to compare myself to anyone. In Brazilian Jiu Jitsu there were always going to be guys who would be better than me. Whether they were training for a longer or shorter time. All that mattered was that I was better than I was last week, or last month, or last year.

It also just naturally clicked in my head that even if I was just able to hang a little longer before getting tapped out in class, THAT was something to be proud of.  Soon I was rolling and guys who use to be able to tap me out 10 times in a row, were REALLY struggling to get me to tap a few times, or not at all. THAT was something to be proud of.

Soon I was starting to tap some guys out, and once again that small goal gave me a positive feeling and reinforced my decision to train. SO when I got into Pick Up and had my eye opening revelation that this IS something you can learn, I carried over the lessons I had already learned while mastering or becoming proficient in others skill sets.

I am sure you can find something that resonates with you. Playing music, golf, surfing, hell even playing Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat.  At first you are getting your ass kicked, but soon you start beating players, then the game, then you get to the point where you can beat the game with any character.

I also had amazing breakthrough one day.

Before I was the type of guy who was ALWAYS worried about what other people thought of me. If I was walking to class and tripped and people saw it, I would be mortified for the rest of the day.

I could never run out the door, I ALWAYS had to take time getting ready. Not saying you shouldn’t care what you look like and always try to look your best, but I would not go do something like run to the bank if I only had a few minutes before closing, because I didn’t have time to take a shower or do my hair.

Even something like picking my nose in my car (again not saying you should, but I was too worried what the person in the car next to me would think to even TRY it, even though I would never see them again seconds later)

So I decided to start living my life for ME.

I realized that for a long time I had been giving control of my life over to others. I was thinking and acting how I thought other people would respond positively to, and then it hit me.

I was letting my brain convince me that it knew what complete strangers where thinking which then led to me changing my behavior.

Think about that for a second. I was giving control of my life over to people I would never see again. The worst part was, I wasn’t even really giving them control, I was giving control to what I THOUGHT they were thinking.

and that is a shitty way to live.

So once I had that revelation I knew the next step was to start working on my competency in hitting on girls, and the only way to do that is to go out and try it…a lot!

———-

I also told you guys that I would share with you the story about the chick who stood me up…I really didn’t want to write the whole story about but feel like I have to now.

———-

So I was still hung up on the girl who stood me up. She was actually pretty hot, had a giant rack, and was 20 years old so those tits were still nice and firm. She also played video games and was into anime, even doing some cosplay dress up (and was one of the hottest of them)

So when she called me a few weeks after New Years and apologized for standing me up, I was trying to not cave but her looks, me just getting divorced and knowing the x was getting railed by a new guy, and me not having any other options or choices with women at the time, led to giving her another chance.

She had never done this before, felt horrible, and was going to make it up to me. She promised that she was going to take me to her favorite mexican food place and would pay for dinner. I said sure and we made plans.

We hit the restaurant a few days later. It was a little hole in the way place and the food was HORRIBLE. I know good mexican food and this place sucked (she burned me again! LOL)

Right as the bill was coming she got up to go to the bathroom…

There was NO WAY I was going to pay for this shitty food so I waited….and waited.

The waiter comes by and clears the table and looks at the check….looks at me and walks away.

He comes by at least 2 more times and I am just sitting there waiting (before iPhones so just sitting there)

It is now almost 10 fucking minutes I have been sitting there waiting and all I can think of is she is in the bathroom and reliving the scene from Dumb and Dumber and having explosive diarrhea.

She also didn’t have a purse so there was no way she had any baby wipes with her (you are no better than a monkey or caveman if you don’t have wipes in your bathroom) so was already thinking the worst.

FINALLY after 10 fucking minutes she comes out, pays the bill and acts like she was gone for 20 seconds.

We end up leaving and heading back to my place. All my brain is thinking about is what I imagined happening in that bathroom.

Soon we end up back at my place and we hang out for a little, then we end up getting close and making out. Pretty soon those giant tittays are out and I am enjoying them.

We end up in my bed and we start getting naked.

As we start to fuck, all I can think about is my x-wife, this chick’s 10 minute trip to the bathroom doing God knows what to that toilet, no baby wipes, how I am going to have to wash my sheets as soon as she leaves….

Which of COURSE results in the worst sex I have ever had in my entire life.

It’s over in less than 3 minutes, but thinking it was closer to 2 minutes…

I roll off of her and tell her

“……..I’m……..I’m sorry……….”

Needless to say I never head from her again.

I also threw my sheets in the washer as soon as she left. LOL

It took a few girls before I started to feel my mojo coming back in the bedroom. Which is why I recommend getting those bad dates and lays out of the way ASAP after a painful break up.

(next update will be about how I started going out and trying to sarge, and how the very first opener used that night was called out by a girl)

Learn why The Fonz got laid

Always knew The Fonz was a PUA!

Good rule of thumb, when not sure what your next move should be with a girl, is it something Richie Cunningham would do? (an AFC)

Keep calling her

Keep texting her

Make the first date a giant event

Send flowers to her work after the 1st date

Tell her you don’t want to have sex, but just cuddle with her

Not eat her out because it is YUCKY

Loan her money

Babysit her kid while she goes out with another guy

Something The Fonz would do=

doesn’t care if he never hears back from a chick, he has 5 more on the hook

hanging out with him IS the giant event on the date

lives above a garage with someone ELSE’s parents and still gets chicks

doesn’t have to drop $ to impress a chick

(this is line of thinking is what originated WWBD)

Some of this sounds like common sense, but common sense isn’t so common…